Destiny’s Dictum

P. Krishnamoorthy

It was the first weekend.  After a day’s grueling work, Kishore wanted to go to a pub with Sheila, a co-worker in Efficient Technologies, to have some fun and relaxation in Skyview Place.  Before leaving he called her on the phone about meeting In Skyview. He was thrilled to hear her acceptance.  Though Kishore’s intimacy with Sheila was nearly two years, it was the first time he got her okay to visit a pub with him. It was drizzling outside, and Kishore was eagerly awaiting Sheila’s arrival. There was music and dancing going on in full blast inside the pub. When she arrived, Kishore was so jubilant to see her in black ‘One shoulder mermaid’ formal dress. Before joining the crowd in the hall, Kishore picked up beers for them. The music was enchanting and created the mood to join the fun with the crowd. 

Kishore was a senior mainframe developer with eight years’ experience in the firm.  Sheila was his system analyst. Also, an engineering graduate from Mumbai, joined Efficient technology two years ago, became very close to Kishore, mainly thru professional proximity to start with, later became his lover and their togetherness ending in Kishore’s proposing her for life partnership. 

Kishore, also from Mumbai, was the only son for his parents.  Right from his childhood he was very possessive in everything. Since he was very brilliant in academics and top in athletics, both his school and college managements were proud to have him as their asset student. There was a call in his cell phone. His father from Mumbai was on the line. The message was his mother got admitted in the hospital for a massive heart attack in a critical condition. The doctor’s advice to wait for 24 hours before anything could be said. He wanted him to come immediately. Kishore was more attached to his mother. He would do anything to satisfy her. He got shattered on hearing the news. He rushed to Shailaja’s cabin and informed her that he had to go to Mumbai as his mother had been admitted to the hospital for a heart attack.  He wanted Shailaja to take care of his duties until he came back.

 When Kishore arrived in Mumbai on the afternoon flight, it was pouring. He was unable to control his emotions when he saw his father. He saw his mother lying in the ICU. The next day there was some improvement in her condition but still, as per the doctor’s advice, another 24 hours to go for a stable condition. The whole family members gathered in the hospital to enquire about her condition.  On the third day, she was out of critical stage.  Kishore had to stay until she was discharged and returned home. On her return, she was incredibly pleased to see Kishore. Among various visitors, his mother’s close and family friend Nirupam came to see her with her only daughter Shilpa.  During their talk, Kishore’s marriage with Shilpa was discussed. His mother directly voiced her decision that Kishore’s marriage would be with Shilpa only and she had already promised Nirupam on this. She wanted the wedding to take place imminently considering her present health condition.  Both Kishore and his father were reminded of the doctor’s advice that any reaction to any shocking news or contradictory message would affect her heart condition. Hence the whole family had agreed to the proposal except Kishore. He was not inclined to their proposal.  As his mother insisted the marriage to take place immediately, Kishore had no other option except to accept his mother’s decision. Accordingly, the marriage was celebrated in a simple manner in a temple. 

It was time for Kishore to leave Mumbai. As he was packing his things, suddenly he found his mother’s condition becoming critical again. This was due to a gossip she heard from a distant relative that Kishore was not happy on this marriage since he had already proposed to Shailaja, a colleague in his office.  This time the attack was so severe that she could not withstand it and instantly collapsed. Kishore’s return to Bangalore was delayed by another two weeks that was agreed upon by his management. 

After all the dust settled, Kishore with Shilpa returned to Bangalore. Shilpa was very jubilant as she was stepping into a new phase in her life. She had lots of insatiable ideas for romantic moments with Kishore during their honeymoon jaunt. On the contrary, Kishore was feeling guilty to face Shailaja after all the developments.

He was unable to justify his action to Shailaja as the developments were the outcome of circumstantial conspiracy.  They were beyond his control. He was recollecting his earlier days with her. All those happy times now appeared as mirage to him. More than his own feelings, he was thinking about Shailaja’s reaction towards him.  Since his arrival, she spoke to him strictly in a professional way and never mentioned anything about his marriage with Shilpa. This kind of silence on her part about his wedding added more guilt in him, for he expected her to come up with some reaction.  

As the days passed by, Kishore’s mental stability was losing strength.  To vent his feelings of depression he resorted to drinking combined with chain smoking. In the office he was unable to look Shailaja in her eyes. Only few words from her about his marriage, like it was taken place because of various circumstances which were beyond his control and to condone him for his action. But she continued her silence that was tormenting him a great deal.  Instead of directly telling him, she should convey them at least through others and her plans for future life which would make him happy. 

His formal marriage reception party that was delayed due to condolence period, was later fixed and all his colleagues decided to visit his home and welcome Shilpa into their fold.  They had fixed the time and day to meet her at Kishore’s residence. Kishore was sure that Shailaja would not join them to avoid any embarrassment between her and Shilpa before other colleagues. Surprisingly, on that day Shailaja came with them to his residence and met Shilpa. Since his return from Mumbai, Shilpa, through her Bangalore friend got all the news of Kishore’s love affair with Shailaja and his proposal to marry her. During the party, the strange behavior of Kishore towards Shilpa was observed by his colleagues. At least after some days, Shilpa expected Kishore to divulge his affair with Shailaja, but he never revealed anything at any time.  

In this scenario, his colleagues exchanged welcome greetings to Shilpa. A bouquet of roses was presented by Shailaja on everybody’s behalf. Shilpa’s enthralled looks on Shailaja and her reciprocal awestruck looks were equally powerful, each admiring their personal beauty.  After all the formalities and usual official gossip, they finished the dinner that was served from a restaurant, and they all left Kishore’s place. 

 Kishore was confused with Shailaja’ s strange behavior during the party. He expected her, being the only female member in the office group, to talk to Shilpa at length about the marriage and convey her condolence on her mother-in-law’s death. But Shailaja’s strange behavior of maintaining silence during her entire stay was puzzling to Kishore.  

Shilpa, after following up with Kishore’s activities like morning jogging and other rituals of taking bath and preparing to go to office, he seldom spoke to her. He also returned home very late at night. Obviously, Shilpa could see the rift becoming wider between them. Shilpa, as an individual, valued more of her self-respect. She felt she was neglected and insulted by him. Everyday seemed to become unbearable with his indifference. She agreed for youngsters to have girlfriends or get involved in love affairs before their marriage. But once married, she expected them to be sincere to their wives for a happy new life, without reminiscing about their earlier romances. Though Shilpa had no love affair in her college days, she too had handled many of her friends’ problems.  She had now reached a stage where she could not continue long with her miserable life.  As divorce option was against the wishes of her father, she had been to a professional marriage counselor to solve her problem. She was advised to give some more time as his behavior could change once Shailaja’s next move in life was known. Either she would leave her job or find somebody to get married to. Either way the professional proximity of Kishore would not last long.   

With both husband and wife’s life brewing to a breaking point, their reconciliation seemed to be impossible and reached a point where they had to be compulsorily separated. They even consulted the lawyers for a resolution. Kishore’s wishful thinking to marry Shailaja if his present marriage ended in a divorce, was more a remote possibility than a reality.  But would Shailaja be prepared to wait that long and agree to marry him?  Only time alone could sort out such a paradox. Even after Shilpa’s trip to her parents in Mumbai to get relief, did not get the desired result. The problem remained confused with no answer. 

Kishore would like to spend more time in the office. The advantage being Shailaja’s presence was available as she had to assist him officially even after office hours. With this their professional proximity increased and he enjoyed her company every moment. He even dropped her at her residence in the late hours.  He felt a kind of sentimental attachment towards her. Also, he was sure that she will come out to marry him if he becomes single again.  Her continued silence made him think that she was still in love with him.  After dropping her in the apartment, he stayed there overnight, as she feared his drunken driving. She informed Shilpa that he was staying at her place for the night because of his drunken stage.  Kishore felt very happy on her initiative as Shilpa got a message of his staying with Shailaja for the night.

When he raised the issue of divorcing, Shilpa bluntly refused.  Shilpa knew all his financial backing, his investments, bank accounts, his lavish apartment where they were living.  As the bank accounts were jointly made, she had free access to them. 

As days passed, Kishore’s mind was in turmoil. He had increased his drinking habit and become a total alcoholic. Shailaja was a silent spectator and not making any personal effort to stop his drinking habit.  It was also surprising for the management not to interfere in Kishore’s personal life as Kishore’s efficiency in handling official matters in time without any slip up. They were baffled with his on-time performance in attending the office and finishing the work.  Shilpa’s nagging continued and Kishore was becoming more desperate without any solution to the problem. 

 It was a Sunday.  Kishore was jogging in the nearby park.  After a few minutes break, he again continued his jogging and returned home.  At home he found there was total silence. He checked every room. Shilpa was not to be seen anywhere. Finally, when he checked the bathroom, he found Shilpa lying on the ground unconscious. Kishore shouted for help. With the help of some ladies from nearby apartments Shilpa was brought to the living room and found her dead. When Kishore checked in the bathroom, he found she was electrocuted for a long time due to a short circuit in the main switch adjacent to the shower area. 

According to Kishore, the whole scenario was providential. Shilpa paid her price for the torture she gave him. Kishore was very complacent now with Shilpa’s accidental demise.  His deceptive melancholic appearance during condolence period was remarkable whereas his inner conscience celebrated Shilpa’s demise. He construed her death was a divine dictum to clear his way to revive his earlier proposal to Shailaja. He was rewinding the scene where Shailaja was silent when Shilpa indirectly hinted at Kishore’s relationship with her. She could have said that she was not interested anymore. Instead, she made that scene open for future life partnership through her silence. His calculations clearly confirmed his longing for her. The ball was in her court now and he was very optimistic about the issue. With the exit of Shilpa, his inner joy and happiness made him start the offer. 

The testimony for such thinking was the occasion when he stayed overnight in her apartment at her request. He felt she was a well-wisher always. She reflected that feeling with her stopping him from driving after heavy drinking in the night. Probably she would have offered to revive their romantic days on that night, but for his alcoholic stage. Kishore was even rehearsing as to how he can revive the offer now.  With all kinds of positive approaches, he envisaged a revival. On the other side, he was also rehearsing to face a negative response from Shailaja for his offer. Then he compromised at least with getting rid of Shilpa’s torture. With a peg of large whisky, he concluded his soliloquy with a good night. 

Next morning Kishore got up early. As it was drizzling outside, he did not go for his usual jog. He was preparing to go to the office. He was all in good cheer as he was trying to revive his proposal with Shailaja on that day.   There was a call in his cell and one of the office staff called and asked him to come to the office immediately for an emergency.  Without giving any details, he disconnected the call. Kishore thought there was some fire accident in his office. When he reached the office, he found all the staff had gathered in the hall except Shailaja. When Kishore questioned, the office manager replied that last night she was murdered in her apartment and police were investigating. On hearing this, Kishore felt a big blow on his head and the whole world shattered to pieces.  He was feeling dizzy and fainted. The staff helped him to clear his dizziness and gradually divulged the details. Around ten in the night, some intruder entered her apartment. At point blank the intruder shot her with a hand pistol on her face and instantly she died. Neighbors called the police and removed the body to the mortuary. The intruder was caught while escaping and confessed the killing. It appeared that on instructions from a lady named Shilpa, he had killed Shailaja for a ransom of one lakh rupees earlier received by him. 

Kishore was bewildered at the details. Immediately he rushed to check his bank account that showed a withdrawal of a similar amount by Shilpa two days before.  With a criminal mind to kill Shailaja, Shilpa’s accidental demise was a clear ‘destiny’s dictum’ as the price paid for her criminal act..  He was also regretting on his  destiny's decision that he should be in solitude. .

 

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 MOONLIGHTING

- P.Krishnamoorthy

“Moonlighting refers to pursuing more than one job at a time and remote working has helped employees take up this option”.

With this introduction ‘MOONLIGHTING’ episode commences with the life of Jayanth Verma, a young man of twenty five years in the city of Bangalore, India. A topper in computer engineering graduation with full of ambitions and aspirations to become somebody highly regarded rich and well-known in the society. He was selected in the college campus interview by Tell Technologies a leading IT company for a computer programmer position with a handsome salary and perks to start with. At the time of joining Tell Technologies required him to sign as formal acceptance of various terms and conditions that included one dealt with moonlighting. As the offer was very attractive for a raw  graduate, Jayanth was very happy to accept the various conditions According to company regulation, he had to undergo training of one month before any assignment handled by him. He was also assured a pay increase after six months based on his performance. 

Jayanth was jubilant in taking his first on-line assignment with Orient Drinks, a leading firm dealing with food and beverage products.  As he successfully handled various programs for various processes, the first impression of his skills was quite evident and paved the way for future ones. At the end of six month Tell Technologies raised his emoluments to a decent level, his first ambition was to get a car from a two-wheeler. Since things were very favorably progressing, his life style also was gradually changing. He could afford to attend expensive pubs and his circle of friends of both sex became wider. In a short time Jayanth became very popular. His original computer skills and talents now added with practical knowledge of different assignments made him an indispensable to the organization. 

Two years had passed. Jayanth, though achieved laurels and recognition for his skills in computer literacy and public relations, they were not commensurate with his financial standing. He was exploring other avenues to make additional income. One such venture gave him an opportunity with a overseas assignment of challenging type to his skills thru online operation. Also he would be paid a very attractive   remuneration. The offer was from a leading American firm - .Energy Efficient. Though it involved working in the nights due to time difference, Jayanth took this challenge and commenced working for the new firm. They are also dealing with food and beverage products similar to the firm he was already working. Since it was just computer related job, he knew that there would be no competition between the two. He totally forgot the company's  ruling against 'moonlighting'. As the days passed with both jobs on hand, Jayanth was jubilant as  his bank balance also simultaneously increased. He moved to a spacious bigger house in a posh neighborhood. 

 As things worked in his way, he was thinking it was time for him to settle down in life. He was trying for a life partner. Through his attending various social parties, Jayanth was also lucky in meeting Sadhana, daughter of a rich jeweler in the city. In their first meeting itself, after both exchanged pleasantries, Sadhana proposed him for settling down in life. It was a ‘bolt from the blue’ for Jayanth, for, he had least expected that she would propose to him so fast. Since she was an attractive girl, with well-educated background and from a well-to-do family, he reciprocated her proposal. When he asked whether her parents would agree to their alliance, Sadhana confidently said her father would agree to her wishes as she was the only child and that her mother died when she was very young. 

Tell Technologies was very happy with Jayanth’s performance. But they were not yet aware of a ‘moonlighting’ being carried on by Jayanth in spite of his employers ruling that was against such assignments. He also knew that Energy Efficient was their main competitor in beverages'  business. 

Energy Efficient sent a discreet oral feeler to Jayanth whether he could help them in finding their processing formula for one of their fast moving soft drink. They also assured  him with  substantial financial reward for that help.  It was a strange coincidence Jayanth accidentally got access to the processing formula in one of his a programming phase. Jayanth jumped at their timely offer and passed on the processing formula of Orient Drinks to Energy Efficient,

With this competitor’s formula, extensive marketing network and  at reduced price, Energy Efficient had increased their market sales of the soft drink considerably over Orient Drinks. Consequently the value of shares of Energy Efficient had risen very well whereas the shares of Orient Drinks had a nose dive in the share market. On investigation Orient Drinks had found out the part played by Jayanth of Tell Technologies. Immediately they had cancelled the contract with Tell Technologies and proceeded with legal action on them Since moonlighting was against Tell Technologies’ rules that were stipulated in the employment contract with Jayanth, they suspended him from service to take  legal action against him.  

When these processes were going on, Sadhana’s prolonged silence without any move on her earlier proposal,  bewildered to Jayanth.  He had even an apprehension whether he would marry her and settle in life. Later he found the reason for her silence as her father’s demise after suffering from cancer. She was busy in taking care of his jewelry business fulltime. Even when he took the initiative and called her on the phone, Sadhana abruptly closed the call. This response from her, led Jayanth to assume that she would break her  earlier proposal of marriage.    

A week after,  one morning Jayanth was to meet his attorney to discuss about his legal problems. As he opened the TV, he was thrilled to hear the breaking news of Energy Efficient bought all the shares of Orient Drinks and taken full control. The next news was a 'jackpot' for him - Jayanth Verma would be the new Chief Executive of Energy Efficient.  With the merger Jayanth was happy that he would be relieved from all litigations.  Though Jayanth had all happiness on his professional accomplishment, he felt he was a total failure in settling in life.  As he was opening the entrance door to leave, there stood Sadhana holding a bouquet of flowers to revive her earlier marriage proposal and to apologise for her abrupt response due to a business emergency.     

                                                     The Frozen Truth

                                    - P.Krishnamoorthy

The air was filled with cold moisture from the intermittent drizzle. The flash of the lightning illuminated the dark clouds for a split of a second every time. Ranjit had least expected a celestial intervention on that night. Still he was happy as the lightning helped him to focus his target well. He pulled the trigger. The marksmanship of the murderer was accurate and the deed was done. The next flash helped him to view the victim.  Kishore’s final remains were in the form of mass of flesh and pieces of human parts splattered all over, through the hole created by his Magnum .5 rifle. It was gruesome and repulsive.  He bowed his head as a mark of respect and prayed to the departed soul to rest in peace. He believed in benediction as a form of confession of sins towards repentance; but he cherished this until a new challenge was thrown in.

Ranjit was satisfied with his accomplishment.   Kishore, the target, had a high price -tag, as he was a powerful politician with muscle and money power.   It was a test and trial to Ranjit’s talent.  Even a trivial mistake or miscalculation would have caused his personal disaster, as Kishore was a terror to many, including the underworld dons. Kishore’s assassination strangely coincided with Ranjit’s twenty-fifth assignment, which obviously meant that Ranjit had so far successfully evaded the long arm of the law, which followed even his shadows. His silver jubilee list also included some killings undertaken with ‘philanthropic flavor’ on behalf of poor whose victims were denied even access to justice system due to political clout of the offenders. 

When Ranjit returned home, it was few hours for the dawn. He decanted a large peg of ‘ Civas’ into a crystal and swigged it on the rocks.  The impact of the scotch was instant in his system, stimulating him for a smoke.  He lighted a Marlborough and puffed the first smoke as he gazed at the old pink-stripped shirt, hanging on the wall. It was more than a memento or a memoir to him, which he adored, as it was the last gift from his mother on his eleventh birthday.  He disdained it in moments of despair, since it was responsible for their separation; yet he valued it as the only available remembrance of his mother since their parting. 

 The chemical combination of the inhaled nicotine and the intoxication by the scotch led him to stroll down his memory lane.  First, he could visualize Bagalpur, his birthplace, a small sandy village located at 200  miles from Bombay on the Bombay-Ahmedabad sector inhabited by a thin population. The half dilapidated stonewalled Hindu temple and a semi-finished community hall were the only strong structures acted as the landmarks in the village.  The numerous thatched huts of that hamlet evidenced its impoverished economic state. Ranjit’s world was confined only within the four peripheries of the village marked by drylands and deadwood.   As the only child to his mother, Madhuri, he enjoyed comprehensive freedom and protection from all responsibilities. She compromised and condoned even his numerous serious mischief and lapses of discipline since she had an inherent fear that he would just leave her even at the slightest rebuke irrespective of its reason.  She took strides in every adversity to ensure Ranjit’s happiness. She worked hard labor to guarantee this even at a high price of her failing health. She worked from dawn to dusk as a housemaid in the landlord’s home for paltry wages, that were also settled in kind.  The village, so backward in facilities, had nothing much to offer to Ranjit in terms of education, employment or entertainment.  The small rail station, through which only two trains to and from Bombay passed everyday, was the hangout for Ranjit and his friend Shashi to enjoy clandestine smoking with left over cigarette bits. 

It was his eleventh birthday.  His mother woke him up early in the morning to take bath and wear new clothes.  She also got him some of his favorite sweets.  “Mom! Why so early in the morning?”  “Yes my son!  I have to go to work early today as I have to compensate for the money I borrowed from the landlord to buy you the new clothes and sweets”. 

These words moved Ranjit very strongly and he was brooding over them. He was longing to relieve her from her tribulations; but he could do it only by working and earning for which there was never an opportunity in the village. “Ranjit! It is getting late for me. Have the new dress and let me see how you look in it”.  After wearing the new clothes, Ranjit touched his mother’s feet to invoke her blessings.  “Ranjit!  I pray  ‘God to give you the serenity to change things you can, to accept things which you cannot change and the wisdom to know the difference’.  You should grow up to a respected man, revered by the society for integrity, honesty and character. You should be the vanguard and upholder of the principles of truth.  God will certainly bless you with all prosperity.  Promise me that whatever be the circumstances in life, you will not leave me”. 

Ranjit could see her blurred eyes full of tears. They were tears of hope amidst fear.  As she was holding his hands for the pledge, there was a knock on the door.  A messenger from the landlord’s place to take her for an urgent errand waited at the entrance.  Ranjit felt disappointed at his failure to promise her, as she desired. He came to the rail station and looked for Shashi.  He wanted to show his birthday gift to him; but he was not there.  The train to Bombay had just entered the station. One of the alighted passengers looked desperately for help to unload his heavy luggage from the compartment. Ranjit instantly offered his services even for a meager amount. He thought at least this would be a beginning in his quest to relieve his mother from her toil.  Before he carried the load, he removed the ‘gift’ shirt and left it in the compartment.  After unloading the baggage on the platform, he realized that he had left his new shirt in the train.  He jumped into the compartment to pick that. By that time, the train moved at a good speed. He was bewildered at the momentum of the train and scarred to jump from the compartment.  He looked at the few passengers in the compartment in a hope for help; but they only evinced their sympathy to him without any solution to his problem. His punctuated sobbing turned out to an outburst, as the train, in its speed, passed quite a distance from his village. He was perplexed at the sudden turn of events on his birthday.  He realized how the destiny’s directive had not allowed him to promise his mother against his desertion. Even in broad daylight, he saw pervasive darkness regarding his future and rejoining his mother became oblivion. Haunted by isolation agony, he became panicky. Continued crying and sobbing turned his eyes red and swollen.  By then, it was evening and the setting sun had already disappeared on the western skies, leaving the golden horizon for the dusk to set in. The long hours of starvation since morning made him weak and finally dozed him to sleep. 

When he woke up, he found it was next day morning and the train was in its final destination; the great city of Bombay extended its hearty welcome to him, as it did for any such visitors by first ushering them to its customary avenues for livelihood. Initially they started with begging on the streets, followed by stealing the people, indulging in drug trafficking for cortels and finally turning them as  hitmen before anointing to the throne of the underworld boss.  Though Ranjit hated each phase of these transformations, he had to go through them, as there was no other option for his survival. He could have easily become an underworld don in a short time with his success in each phase; yet he preferred to be a ‘top gun’’ that paid him reasonably well. It also allowed him to escape from the surveillance eye of the law, whose focus was always on the leaders.  In moments of introspection, he was very eager to see his mother by visiting the village; but with the number of years passed by, he was almost certain that she would have been dead by that time due to her ill-health.  

The stroll down the memory lane was interrupted by the surfeit of booze and smokes which finally knocked him down to bed.  The next morning when he opened the newspapers, he saw Kishore’s murder splashed on the headlines along with a photograph of the murder scene.  He was non-chalant and unperturbed, as he had seen many such on his earlier assassinations.  As he flipped the pages of the newspaper, his attention was sharply drawn to a small advertisement with a photograph of an old lady and words reading “I am sinking. I would like to see you before I die. Please come home.”  From the address and the photograph, he recognized that she was none but his mother.   Ranjit erupted into spurts of joy at the information that his mother was still alive.  But he was at the crossroads of eagerness to see her alive as well as an instinctive premonition of getting caught by the authorities.  However, his strong sentiments to see his mother prevailed, and he decided to travel by car overnight which would dissemble him to escape the police net.

When he reached the village it was three in the morning. He parked the car at a distance from his home and walked the distance. The early morning breeze was soothing and the half-hidden moon was mellowing with its soft light.  The stray dogs skulked the narrow lanes here and there. Even after an efflux of two decades, he found no major change in the village and it had its old impoverished rural existence.  He entered his old home. As he stepped on the threshold, the nostalgic memories of his childhood crossed his mind. He could not believe that he spent eleven years of his early life there. A solitary oil lamp in a corner lighted the small room.   He saw his mother lying in the middle of the room, groaning under pain.  Even the silhouetted outline of her body displayed distinctly the shrunken stature of her figure. With calibrated and silent steps he reached the bedside to see her closely.  She was merely a skeleton with minimal flesh. Her thin wrinkled brown skin concealed the color of the protruded bones.  The close wrinkles on the cheeks and the deep furrows on her brows with sunken eyes reflected the extensive sufferings she had gone through for her survival.  At the sight of her devastated health, he felt like screaming.  He controlled his emotional outburst to ensure no disturbance to her. Ranjit held her hands and instantly felt the familiar warmth in it.  He whispered into her ears, “Mom! I have come!” 

After a wait of two decades, she finally heard his voice and also felt his physical warmth, for which, all along, she desperately longed for.   Despite her struggle, she slowly opened her eyes with a faint smile. They peered at each other for few moments. She recognized him even through her blurred vision.  Her face bloomed like a fresh flower. A glimmer of light radiated from her eyes, which were stung with tears of joy that were seized from her since their separation.  The tears that welled up pulsed in her throat and finally burst into uncontrolled sobs.  Ranjit became lost in the torrent of feelings that rushed over him at her emotional reaction.   The sobs were finally silenced with an infusion of strength in her at the joy of seeing him.  She held his hands firmly and quivered warmly; “Ranjit! At last you have come.  While I am pleased to see you so prosperous and grown into a smart and handsome young man, I believe you had followed my guidelines of ethical means for your prosperity”.   An awkward shame suddenly engulfed Ranjit as the words “ethical means” kept ringing in his ears while the semi-darkness cleverly covered his guilty reflections.

“All these days, I was fighting a battle with death and refused to die as I was carrying a burden in my heart.  I was withholding an important personal detail from you all long, and I did not like to die until I revealed that to you”.

“I had been telling you that your father died in a traffic accident. That was not true. Forgive me, I had been a sinner all these years for lying to you. Before your birth, I was working as a housemaid in the next village and staying with that family. One night, when the family was away for a wedding, the landlord, in his drunken mood, raped me against all my resistance; out of that unfortunate incident, you were created. He promised to marry me as his second wife; but he did not keep that promise. Instead, with his money and muscle power, he made me to leave that village”.     As she completed her narration, she pulled out a photograph under the pillow and identified the man in the picture, as his father.  Ranjit could observe her placid face relieved and relaxed; for, after all, she was bearing the cross all these years.  She felt she had unloaded a heavy burden from her heart.  “If you ever find your father, show this picture to him; your paternity would not be anymore obscure”.

 Following these words, her sudden silence confirmed that she breathed her last.  It was a strange coincidence that the flame of the oil lamp also became extinct denying him to have a glimpse of the picture.   He got up from the bed and flicked his cigarette lighter and lighted the lamp again.  As the glow of the lamp gradually illuminated the area, Ranjit hurriedly peeked at the picture.  Even at a cursory glance, he felt a tremor under his feet and a heavy blow on his head.  He carefully looked at the picture again.  The whole world was falling apart before him and he was shattered to pieces. He even wished that he had not visited his mother and known his paternity.  Even his strong mental forte, that had infused courage in him several times in critical assassination scenarios, had a severe setback at that time. The man in the photograph was none but Kishore, his last victim. 

It took some time for Ranjit to get over from the impact of the shock, as the turn of events was so sudden and least anticipated. He felt extremely sorry and sad for his father to be killed by his own son. For the first time, he regretted his profession as a hitman and wanted to give it up.  He consoled himself on the bereavement. Ironically, on the flip side, he strongly believed that his father’s assassination was totally justified; he even asserted that his father deserved such an end and paid the right price for the desertion of his mother  Because of him, she had to bear a stigma  and consequent life-long struggle and suffering. He was also instrumental for her life- long struggle and suffering. He was ashamed and embarrassed at his paternity, which he preferred to be obscure as it was.  In short he wanted it to be a frozen truth for the rest of his life. 

It was already dawn in the village and the normal life was getting into gradual momentum.  He  stepped out of the hut and was surprised to see the whole area surrounded by police to take him. He was astounded as to how the police contingent came to the village. The police officer, who was assigned to arrest him, said,  “you must be wondering as to how we came here to take you.  We had been monitoring all your family details and movements. When we knew that your mother was in a dying stage, we only gave the ad in the papers; we were sure that you would come down to see her.  Finally we got you this time with a good evidence who witnessed Kishore’s murder”. Ranjit shrugged his shoulders and looked back at the hut.  The triumphed truth winked at him and whispered that he too had to pay the right price of punishment for all his killings including his father’s. 

 

  THE SUNSET YEARS

- P. Krishnamoorthy

The crimson sky with setting sun on the western horizon was simply spectacular. Raj Verma was gazing at this spectacle from the balcony in  his recliner. Verma was a retired but suspended Collector. He was charged with many unproven cases  yet dragged by  the bureaucratic government with numerous legal adjournments. Verma was a honest individual, always go by the rules and regulations of the constitution.   His righteous approach to any issue without yielding to the pressures of the politicians was commendable. Everytime he came out unscathed against all the pressures in his thirty years of service. Just before six months of his retirement he was involved in an issue that prolonged for years. While the government retired him exactly on the due date in last six months, they withheld his retirement benefits like his pension and gratuity under the pretext of pending clearance of his ‘suspension status’ by the supreme court.

The issue he had to challenge was  where the government wanted him to approve a proposal  of putting up a leather processing tannery in an agricultural village under his jurisdiction. Its inhabitants’ main source of living was through their agricultural produce  By allowing the tannery in the village, its waste water mixed with tanning chemicals would be diverted into the adjoining river that was the mainstay for the irrigation of agricultural lands.  This was the main objection against tannery coming up in that village. But a big conglomerate with the connivance of the politicians for personal gains, brought heavy political pressure on Verma to approve the project; but he was very adamant in not yielding to the various pressures. Finally after all levels of hierarchy exhausted, the government resorted to a legal battle, finally ending up in the supreme court. 

Verma’s only son Kishore was in U.S. for higher studies. He picked up a liking with Susan, an American girl, a divorcee and single, much elder to him, working in the college office. She also reciprocated his association. At the end of the course, Kishore was not able to extend his stay due to visa restrictions  Susan suggested his getting a permanent visa by marrying her. Kishore agreed to her proposal in spite of knowing that she was an anti-Indian. This made Kishore’s visit to his parents difficult for a long time. 

Besides his legal entanglement, Verma’s domestic peace was shattered with Kishore’s wedding with  Susan, that too a divorcee,  elder to him and an anti-Indian American. All these developments made Verma’s wife disabled and bedridden, suffering from mental depression and other chronic health problems. 

The definition of sunset years covers the years after one’s retirement till death. During this journey one tends to recall his or her memories of youth when with dashing youthful exuberance one was adorned by others either for his atheletic activities and laurels, leading to adding companionship by marriage, either thru personal choice or arranged one. This kind of recollection lead to a longing  of retracing back in that journey. This thought process, though a kind of ‘mirage’ was purely temporary, and fades away when reality  takes over to one’s present life. Life would be a mixer of  positive and negative developments in varied proportions.  

When Vema was in his prime of youth, he was always positive, and he was able to wage wars as a one man soldier against dishonest issues without yielding to them;  but in sunset years he had to end up as a wounded soldier with his own son shattering his dreams.  This also led to his wife’s disability status.

Aa the time had elapsed quite considerably between his prime youth and sunset period, Varma was depressed as more adjournments prolonged his legal fight. Adding more misery,  his wife’s health condition became deteriorated to an alarming situation. After a couple of days she had heavy breathing problems from which she could recover and died. . Without any help from anybody Verma felt more isolated and  abandoned  He was hoping to a dawn when the situation would take to a better turn, giving relief to him. Though it was a wishful thinking on his part, still he was optimistic to happen in realty. 

The hopeful dawn was there after a week. Verma could see the light at the end of the tunnel. There was a telephone call from Delhi. His attorney informed Verma that the supreme court delivered a favorable judgement in his case against the government. They also instructed to relieve Verma  from ‘suspension’ status and to give him all withheld benefits of retirement by the government.  

Following this, there was another call from Kishore from U.S. conveying his condolences on his mother’s bereavement and to inform that he would be visiting him in the following week along with some official work.  Verma was so pleased to hear the two good news on the same day. They prove to be the hopeful dawn that he was optimistic all along. 

On the scheduled day of Kishore’s arrival, Verma was preparing to receive him in the airport as he would be meeting him after a long time. He was checking with the airport whether the flight had landed. Their response was he was on the flight and left the airport. Verma became restless as he did not reach home and  it was already four hours since he left the airport. He was trying all his contacts to locate his whereabouts. Finally there was a call from the police that Kishore got involved in a traffic accident with a truck  while travelling in the taxi, and got admitted in St.Vincent Hospital. Fate’s ‘roller-coaster ride’ had begun. The jubilant Verma in the last few days with the legal victory and followed with Kishore’s visit, had overturned into a precarious condition of his son’s life. Sunset years could noticeably played its part with joy and sorrow. Before Verma could reach the hospital, Kishore was in the surgical room. When Verma arrived in the hospital, the doctors declared that his condition was stable and forty eight hours to go out of critical condition. Varma could only see him thru a glass window as he was not permitted near his bed due to possible infection. 

Verma returned home thoroughly disappointed. He simply prayed the Almighty for his speedy recovery and give him “the serenity to accept things which he cannot change and to change things which he can and the wisdom to know the difference”  He was mentally and physically tired with these negative developments.  

Next day Varma he was leaving to go to the hospital, his attorney called him on the phone to inform that the supreme court had ordered the government to pay him with considerable compensatory amount beside his retirement benefits for all his mental tribulations he had gone thru all these years. Again another instance of ‘roller-coaster ride’.

Kishore’s condition became very critical. While Verma was rushing to the  hospital, the driver stopped the vehicle as there was a political rally going on. He was asked to take a diversion and go in a different route. By the time Varma came to the hospital, it was late and Kishore could not survive. After reaching the hospital,  the driver noticed that Verma was not rushing to get out of the car. He was panicky on Verma’s silence He called the hospital staff for help. They found that Verma died few minutes before due to a heart attack. While removing him from the car, his cell phone fell down from him. One of the staff found that  there was a text message from the doctor attending on  him. As the doctor himself was in an emergency and rushing to his home, instead calling Verma on the cell phone,  he had sent him a text message informing Kishore’s death. On seeing the text message Verma had a heart attack and collapsed instantly in the car. The last journey in his sunset years had begun in the car itelf.  

                                                         MOTHER’S DAY 

                                                          - P. kRISHNAMOORTHY

The eastern horizon was crimson red and the rising sun was a splendid spectacle.  On the outskirts of Dehradun, India, children at the Orphanage of Mother Theresa were preparing for their daily activities.  Rebecca, a mute girl of ten, and one among the eighty residents observed the daily-sheet calendar hanging on the wall. Her mood quickly changed from being high spirited to melancholy. Some years earlier on the same day she became an orphan - the anniversary of her beloved mother’s death. She quickly formulated a plan. Prior to her mother’s demise, she had lost her father in a road accident. Dressing hurriedly, she surreptitiously left the orphanage to execute her plan. About a kilometer away, she reached a shop that carried a variety of flowers. Many people walked in and out of the shop as it was Mothers’ Day. As her mother died on a mother's day, she felt it was important for her to get at least one rose to her mother. But  she had no money to buy even that one rose. Yet she was very optimistic and hoping that a good Samaritan would get her that flower. So she waited patiently for some  miracle to happen.

Dr. Stephan, a well-known surgeon in his mid-thirties, was leaving the florist shop when Rebecca saw him carrying a single rose in his hand. .On hearing his cell phone ringing,  momentarily he stopped to answer the call. The rose fell from his hand and landed next to Rebecca.   She thought it was providential answer  for her prayers.  Picking up the flower, she held it close to her heart and eagerly looked at the doctor for his reaction. With tears in her eyes, she promptly conveyed her emotional  feelings. There was a moment of suspense. Though the doctor was listening to the call, his eyes were focused on the emotional appeal that she projected. The rose was a gift for his ailing mother. But this child’s desire to keep the flower was strange to him.  He could not imagine any  good reason for it. He came close to her, and  asked her name. Rebecca was terrified at first. However, in sign language with her fingers, she managed to convey that she was a dumb. In addition, she scribbled her name on the ground. In her sign language she also conveyed that  she offered the rose to her late mother on mother's day. The doctor got moved and  felt compassionate for her. He took her in his car to her mother's cemetry. 

She never expected that she would get so much help in accomplishing her dream. As they walked towards his car, she was jubilant. After a ride of fifteen minutes, she wanted the Doctor to stop the car. They had reached a cemetery. They both got out of the car and walked toward a grave.  Rebecca placed the single rose on it.  The name inscribed on the stone marker of the grave was Evelyn George.  On her knees, she offered prayers for her mother.  With tear-filled eyes, the sincerity she displayed greatly impressed the Doctor. Again, with fingers, she thanked him profusely for his help in fulfilling her mission - first, by giving her the rose intended for his dear mother and then for bringing her to the cemetery. On their return to the Orphanage, he met the warden.  He described their visit to the cemetery, and the prayers Rebecca had offered to her mother’s grave. Regina, a dear friend of Rebecca in the orphanage, ,was standing close by. She hugged Rebecca intensely and led her inside. During their interaction, the doctor observed that Regina was blind. that was bothering him very dearly. 

On reaching home he wished his mother a Happy Mothers’ Day with a bouquet of flowers that he’d purchased from the florist on his way home. However, he was extremely disturbed when he thought about Rebecca’s disability and that of her close friend Regina, both at such a young age. He applauded Rebecca’s tenacity in accomplishing her sincere desire despite her disability. He foresaw challenges they would have to face to be successful in life. Parental guidance and affection were necessary to mold children to lead better adult lives. He was married but had no issues. It was strange that he felt such a strong bond with Rebecca. The social stigma of his childlessness often troubled him and had deeply blemished his identity;  but his work was a good replacement for him.  His surgical and medical commitments made him dwell less on a subject that was bothering him. The sudden entry of Rebecca in his life led him to think of  adopting her. When he discussed the subject to his wife, she instantly gave her consent. His ailing mother also endorsed the idea of adopting Rebecca. He would do some research to ascertain whether Rebecca’s disability began at birth or occurred later during a serious illness. 

The Doctor paid another visit to the Orphanage to discuss the possibility of adopting Rebecca. This development in Rebecca’s life pleased the Administrator immensely, for Rebecca would now have better opportunities in life. After doing his research, the Doctor found that the problem began in Rebecca’s seventh year when she suffered a bout of prolonged high fever.  At his clinic, she underwent a series of medical and speech tests.  It was determined that surgery could be performed on her vocal cord to restore normal speech. With the appropriate formalities completed, the surgery was performed. She remained in the hospital for two weeks. Recuperation and speech therapy sessions soon followed, and Rebecca was able to speak. The doctor initiated the required paperwork with the Orphanage for legal adoption. With the court’s consent, Rebecca became his adopted daughter and fulfilled his wish to have a complete family.

These events had taken place over a period of many months. Later, when the doctor was assigned to serve in the Defence Hospital in Srinagar, Kashmir, he moved his entire family there for a temporary stay of six months. Rebecca had never dreamt about a miracle of such magnitude. More than anything, she now enjoyed her speaking ability and became a good conversationalist with her new friends. In school, she also proved to be a bright student. At home, she was loved. She seemed very healthy and grown-up. In her morning prayers, she appealed to the Lord to bless the residents of the Orphanage and to grant them better lives. Their welfare was important to her. She also thanked Him for giving her new parents. 

The assignment in Srinagar came to an end and the return to their former home, created much excitement for Rebecca, particularly the thought of meeting old pals in the orphanage. She was more than happy that the day of  her arrival would be a Mothers’ Day. She cherished her old memories. Accompanied by her adopted parents, she would go to the cemetery  and place a bouquet of flowers on her mother’s grave as a normal girl without any earlier disability.  This time she would speak at her mother's grave dreaming her mother could listen.

Rebecca came to the cemetery with her parents as scheduled.  As they entered the cemetery, she noticed a group of people assembled by her mother’s grave. The pastor  was reciting prayers when she recognized a warden from the Orphanage was among the mourners. Eager to know whose death had occurred, she came close to the warden and was told  that the body had already been interred. As soon as she heard the name of the person, she felt as if a big clap of thunder had landed on her head. She became unconscious. The deceased was her close pal Regina. When the doctor made an inquiry, he was informed that Regina had had a massive seizure and a stroke during the night. She was alone in the room with no immediate help, and found dead that morning. With the doctor’s help, Rebecca recovered but emotionally appeared very sad.  The bouquet of flowers intended for her mother,  she offered them with prayers at Regina’s grave.  In tears, she bid adieu to her close friend with a message “Life is a mixed bag of variables like  cheers and tears”. 

Coutesy: Kalra family

                                 பெற்றவளுக்கு பாமாலை

                                  - பி. கிருஷ்ணமூர்த்தி  

தாலாட்டு பாட்டிலே

தங்க தொட்டிலில் தூங்க வைத்து 

தரணியை ஆள்வேன் என்று

தயங்காமல் பொய் சொன்னவள் 

வானின் வெண்ணிலவை 

வாங்கி தாரேன் என்று 

வாயார பொய் சொல்லி

வயிற்றுக்கு உணவு அளித்தவள்

நடை பயிலும் நாட்களில்

நாலடியில் தடுமாறிய போது

தளராமல் நான் நடக்க 

தாங்கி பிடித்தவள் 

மழலையில் திக்கியபோது 

மகிழ்ந்த ரசிகை நீ

மறைந்து விளையாடியதை

மறக்கவில்லை இன்னும் நான்

பள்ளி பருவத்தில் 

பாடங்களை படிக்க வைத்தாய்

உன்னத வாழ்கைக்கு

உண்மையை உபதேசித்தாய்  

எனக்காக பெண் பார்த்து

எனக்கு துணையும் கொடுத்தாய்

என் வாரிசை சுமந்தவளுக்கு

ஏனம்மா உன் மேல் வெறுப்பு 

முடிவுரை நாட்களில்

முதியோர் இல்லத்தில் நீ இருக்க 

குடும்ப கூட்டில் நான் இருந்து 

குமறி அழுகின்றேன் உனக்காக 

 '

'From the beginning, it is 'arresting'.....Plot builds up masterfully to surprise ending! emotional gripping grand language embodying all the 'nuances' of war and U.N. thrown in" - From a good friend

THE FINAL VERDICT 

P.Krishnamoorthy

The  customary    day-break   on   the   Mekong   river   in    Kompong  Chhnang, Cambodia was  indeed   spectacular.    The eastern   horizon  with its   crimson  backdrop, reflected the peaceful nature's splendour in the  river water.   For  Ted  White, a   Canadian  in his   thirties,   this grandeur made all the difference   in his life. He had come to Cambodia as a U.N. Peace-keeper on the medical side, and been assigned to Kompong Chhnang.  Since Ted's arrival, he enjoyed every bit of his working in the mission,    which  was fully focused  towards revival of a well-deserved humanity;   a  humanity  torn in pieces by massacres, and yet trying to survive itself from the shackles of   genocides.   The torturous  methods   of killing millions of people   by Khmer Rouge remained   ultimate   in   horror.   More   than the   monuments  of   the    massacres, like the Tuol Sleng Museum   housing  the prison and torture centre,  Ted had found indelible imprints in every living human face -   young and   old, of their horrible past under Khmer Rouge regime. They had recognized their eagerness and justified tenacity to survive and sustain for a prosperous and peaceful tomorrow. With least qualms, in the annals of Cambodian history, the chapters relating to Khmer Rouge era, were the most stained pages ever recorded.

Ted had found that history dated back the misery of this country to the seventies of this century. During the last two decades, the country had suffered prolonged hardships of brutal totalitarian rule and civil war. The United Nations Transitional Authority in Cambodia (UNTAC) was established to oversee the peace process in Cambodia. From Ted's personal experience, he was quite convinced that the mission was more a challenge to the world body, and a major effort to alleviate the country from a horror-filled scenario, to a peaceful nation. Undoubtedly, it played a very effective and constructive role to bring a peaceful and democratic transition in the country, besides repatriation of refugees, promotion of human rights, social rehabilitation and mine clearance.

During his short sojourns to nearby villages, Ted was amazed at the strong, complex moral codes and hierarchical relationships with which the Cambodian society was closely woven.  He observed that the traditional values had been highly upheld on an unpolluted, religious and cultural base.  The family had been strongly bonded with emotional ties and sincere togetherness. Ted was surprised at the families' economic cooperation in labour, and contribution as units to ceremonial obligations. Further, he was impressed with their importance of the interpersonal and interfamily ties in the society which often helpedto solve their several problems. As agriculture was the main occupation in the villages, men were engaged in activities like plowing and harrowing rice fields, and women were engaged in pulling and transplanting rice seedlings, harvesting and winnowing rice. Oxcarts were used for transportation of the produce. Womenfolk also served as the ethical and religious model for the children. Ted liked the varied sizes of their rectangular houses, built in wooden frames with gabled thatched roofs and walls of woven bamboo. They were built at raised stilts for protection against floods.

Ted's mission assignment was attached to the Medical Centre as a Doctor. The Medical Centre was located in an old building in the outskirts of Kampong Chhnang,  requiring a commute of a mile from the town. It was a survivor in the various bombings and genocides, and had weathered all political storms. On the very first day of his assumption of office, Ted was able to assess its inadequate capacity to handle patients with its poor facilities in the utmost unhygenic environment. Though the Centre was housed in an old building, Ted was happy that at least its layout with wooden dividers, conformed to the specifics of a small hospital, and had twenty beds for in-patients. With strong determination to reorganize the Centre to become fully serviceable, he directed all his efforts even against various bureaucratic hurdles. There had also been many occasions where he had to nearly fight for the sick against death, and he was extremely successful in saving many. His dedication and devotion to that humanity was so immense, often he lost track of time in the medical centre, and spent late hours to cope with the waiting people. Within a short time, Ted became a saviour to the people who trusted and respected him.  

Ted had employed a young girl, as a servant-maid, to dust and  clean his house besides cooking and other household jobs. Bopha was her name which meant "flower" in the local lingo. She was in her twenties.  Ted was amazed at the adversity's mercy and kindness to allow nature extend to her the youthful teenage exuberance. She was full of beauty as a blooming rose. However, Ted did see in her eyes the turbulent past she had gone through. He was equally impressed with her demonstrated eagerness and ability to learn everything for meaningful and fearless living. Bopha made him happy by carefully taking care of all the domestic work, and ensured his favourite food was always on the table each day when he returned home. Ted was curious to know of  her past life. On his enquiry, she narrated her past.

"Having lost my father in childhood in the "killing fields" at Choueng Ek, and left with a legacy of a maimed mother, my resolve to live was not in any way different from my other fellow people.  The strong will to survive against evil and hope for a peaceful future, had always been my sole strength. For all of us, the visible directional horizons were the boundaries of the whole world, beyond which we had no idea of what existed, except divinity.  The ghastly scar of the country dominantly visible even today, was our maimed people in thousands, who had become permanent invalids, the heavy price paid in the land mines planted by all factions at war, more by the Khmer Rouge. They had no recourse whatsoever for a livelihood. Each home had a minimum of one such invalid to be taken care of.  Besides its agricultural lands, Kompong Chhnang was rich in clay soil, the main ingredient for production of earthenware and pot-making which became the mainstay for the survival of most of us.  My livelihood was totally dependant on the meager daily earnings as a helper in pot-making; I was also carrying headloads of finished products to the ox©carts transporting them to the nearest markets. More than starvation in the backdrop of the poverty curtain, which we had been used to for years, the constant feeling of fear tortured us to death more than once, more than the real death itself". The initial fun for Ted to listen to her narration through smattered English, gradually turned out to be a tale of tragedy.  

It was a Saturday evening and there was a heavy rain. Ted had just returned home, and heard a knock on the door. To his surprise, he saw Bopha standing there, profusely sobbing and crying. "Are you alright?"  Ted's soothing enquiry relieved her, and was more supportive to her request.  "My mother is seriously ill. She could not breathe. You have to save her". She insisted Ted to go with her. Her eyes displayed total trust in him to save her mother.   Ted had seen misery and suffering earlier in his life, but never to the extent he was witnessing since his arrival in Cambodia. This made Ted very compassionate, and he just followed her. While walking through the narrow, inundated lanes with an unbearable stench emanating from their sides,  Ted pitied at the most unhygenic surroundings in which the people were living. He saw their homes made up of small huts covered with dried palm tree leaves. When Ted reached Bopha's hut, he had to bend his head to go in, and only darkness greeted him inside. He could hear her mother's whimpering from a corner. Bopha brought a lighted candle and in that illumination, he could distinctly see a small figure of Buddha in her mother's hands. When Ted saw her face clearly in the candle light, he could guess her serious condition. She was having breathing problem as she was an acute asthma patient. Through his timely treatment, Ted was able to save her mother. Bopha profoundly thanked him for preventing her from becoming an orphan. Ted believed that more than he, their tacit trust and divine faith were responsible for her mother's revival.

The next day was Ted's birthday and a holiday too for "Chhnam Thmey", the Cambodian New Year's day. Ted was planning to spend more time at home. Much to his surprise, early in the morning, he saw Bopha at the entrance with her lively smile, holding something covered in a plate. She was flamboyant in the traditional elegant 'sampot' dress, embroidered with rich gold and silver threads. The morning greetings from her were graciously emotional. She had brought a rice cake exclusively made for him. "What a pleasant surprise. Today is my birthday and you got me a gift. How did you know my birthday?". Ted's  query was mixed with a kind of perplexity. "It is a strange coincidence. For all you did yesterday to save my mother, I could give only this small gift. Happy  Birthday to you". Bopha conveyed her gratitude. She was exhilarated at the opportunity of wishing him well on his birthday. She was happy that her rice cake suited the occasion as a fitting gift.

 Since the introduction of Ted in her life and his strong concern towards her, Bopha felt that she was moved to a world of fantasy; a world where she and Ted alone lived and no sign or scent of any evil in any form existed there. There was no day or night, for, it was all through, a period of total delight.  In him, she saw an incarnation of God who had come to retrieve her people from the deadliest diseases. She simply adored his disciplined gentleness. However, Bopha's possessiveness was manifesting into geometrical proportions, leading her to become totally selfish and self-centred. She believed that Ted belonged only to her, and to her alone.  In short, she was longing for his open acceptance of her.

Bopha had always been punctual for work in Ted's place. But she turned up late for work one day. When he questioned her, she was in tears and explained to him the reason.

It was five years before on the very same day, my father was killed. The gruesome scene of his death was still green in my memory. It was at Mongkol Borie. My father, Kheng Sok, was a civil servant in the old regime. He was rounded up along with sixty other people and their families, on the orders of the local Khmer Rouge chief. All our hands were tied behind back and we were driven to a banana plantation, where we could see scattered corpses. My father was the first to be pushed forward, and forced to kneel between two armed soldiers holding bayonet-tipped rifles. The soldiers stabbed my father front and back  until he fell down dead.  After the families witnessed it, they were also killed through similar process. Providentially, my mother and myself were able to escape in the plantations. My recollection of that day tormented me and I was upset. It took some time for me to get over it, and that was how I was late this morning"   Ted's tears were the direct reaction to this, and his response was profound sentiments to her. Ted decided to train Bopha for the nursing duties in the Centre, as he found her very soft-spoken and polite to others. In particular to the sick people, Bopha was very kind and helpful without hatred or hesitation. He had also observed her keen desire to become a nurse in the Medical Centre.  When Ted conveyed his offer to Bopha, she was elated at it. Ted could see her delightful face longing for a new focus.  She preferred it, for, more than the job, she relished the opportunity to be with him all through the day in the Medical Centre. She also opted to be a direct assistant to him, and impress him through her performance in nursing duties.

The first day in the Medical Centre was totally a new experience for Bopha.  Ted was too busy attending on the patients.  There had been many waiting in the line for consultations. Suddenly, there was a rush of people into the Medical Centre, carrying an old man whose legs were amputated. He was in a very critical condition. By the time Ted could check on him, he died. When the crowd outside knew of his death, they became violent and shouted slogans.  Bopha had to intervene and explain to the crowd that he could have been saved, if he would have been brought a little earlier. Bopha also knew this old man, as he was from her neighbourhood. Ted was anxious to know the reason for the people's violent behaviour on his death.  She explained that the old man, who was teaching their young children, was the only literary hope for them. In the whole neighbourhood, he was the only school teacher who escaped death by Khmer Rouge; and all others went to him for any elderly counselling. He was the sole survivor of a "massacre of intellectuals" by the Khmer Rouge. The old man was one of the 'intellectuals' who were tied up, severely beaten and tortured for their individual views, and dropped off dead along the road from Sisophon. While others died, he was the only one survived and escaped. The Khmer Rouge believed that by total annihilation of the intellectuals, they could ensure that their new social order would be totally irreversible.

Bopha's interest in the job assumed larger dimensions. Her eagerness to learn combined with her intelligence, enabled her to swiftly grasp and comprehend the various nursing procedures which Ted would decide for the patients.  Within a very short time, Ted found Bopha performing her functions in a professional manner. He credited her with his appreciation for performing beyond his expectations.  Bopha had ensured that the morning visits to the patients by Ted was always with her, as she could learn more on the follow up procedures.

One morning  Ted was approaching the bed of Neang Sath, a middle aged woman. He saw her eyes full of tears, reflecting emotions. On seeing Ted, she murmured that if her only son had been alive,he would have been as handsome as Ted, but fate had decided against it. As Bopha knew how her son was killed, she narrated it to Ted.

"It was a summer day. The agricultural labour engaged in the cultivation of lands included many women workers.  The numerous palm trees on the land bund provided shady shelters for them. Two women were feeding their babies in their lunch break. Suddenly they saw a speeding jeep coming towards them and stopped. Three men in uniforms got down from the jeep. While one of them was pointing towards the babies and giving orders, the other two snatched them from their mothers, and smashed their heads against the palm trees. The women's hysterical and emotional outburst was heard even at a distance, but to no avail; none had the courage to stop that outrage. While the  uniformed 'butchers' were assessing  their gruesome accomplishment, the very sight of the disfigured new borns in a pool of blood made the mothers faint instantly. Out of the two, one had survived, and she was the one who related her tale now. Haunted and reminded perennially of that ghastly scene, this old woman had been regretting her survival". This moved Ted fathoms deep in his sentiments.

In the next bed, Ted was checking the blood pressure of Yun Yat, an old lady who was admitted for a virus fever.  She was smiling and she had recovered well. Her morning greetings to Bopha and Ted appeared very personal. She looked at them and said "Bopha, I believe that God had made you and Ted for each other; I bless you both for a happy life together". Bopha immediately reacted and blushed; her dimples displayed her blushing very conspicuously. During their lunch break, Ted was inquisitive to know the reasons for her blushing. She replied, "according to Yun Yat, we have been made for each other by God; she showered her blessings on us for a happy life together".  While Ted felt proud to be the recipient of elderly blessings, he preferred to be silent on the latter part of her benediction.  While Bopha was eager to find his direct response, Ted was very careful to avoid his reaction.  Bopha was trying all her efforts to evoke Ted's acceptance of her. To summon his direct response, she asked him on his future plans, in particular to his personal life, which, obviously she thought, would make him answer to her choice. Ted felt he had been trapped and his response was calibrated. He indicated his plans to return home at the end of the mission for further medical studies. As he was conveniently evasive on the issue of marriage, Bopha was impelled to express her concern and said

"Ted, I pray to God everyday, if at all He was to favour me with a married life, it should be with you and none else". At this juncture, Ted had to apply a safety net; he wished to quit the conversation, as he was reluctant to be candid with his negative reply for his own reasons. He said he would certainly consider transforming the old lady's wish into reality  at the appropriate time. Ted was convinced that Bopha's love for him, had transformed her to a new life, full of enthusiasm and excitement, as against earlier despair and despondency. During their exchange of cultural concepts, there had been many occasions for Ted to indicate his negative stand in getting married to her; in particular, when she was vehemently discussing it on the premise of his involvement with her. He was careful and determined not to burst out with his negative reaction, for, that would bring down her zeal,drastically to a downfall, and would end up in total disappointment.

He was planning to inform her of his decision at the final hour when the mission would come to a close after elections. He was confident he could convince her at that time about his return to his country. He thought that a marriage between them would not be a feasible proposition. He felt that there was a vast culture conflict and difference between them. He envisaged that any amount of compromise now made,would not work on a long term basis, as the cultural components involved were so strong in structure and varied in character, they could not be adjusted or restructured. As there was more than six months for the elections to be held, he thought Bopha would, by then, become more involved in the Medical Centre, which would outweigh and compensate her disappointment.

Ted knew all the time that he was walking on thin ice on the issue. Her physical beauty had hardly influenced him. His staunch motivation to divert Bopha to a more dedicated and devoted life to serve the community, was very strong. He always believed that any conflict of interests on any issue could be resolved into harmony with a firmness of purpose, combined with a right and timely approach. In short, he was trying to transform her from an infatuated lover, prone to physical pleasures, into  a selfless "noble nun" for the community. Many a time, Bopha, when appearing sensuously attractive, had expected Ted to succumb to her physical charms; but, Ted was firmly blind to such enchantments, and assessed only her rich intellectual inputs in the jobs she performed.  Besides the nursing duties and related assignments, Ted insisted Bopha talk to the patients and their visiting relatives about the importance of health and hygiene to avoid deadly diseases. He was confident that such messages would be turned over to others in their areas for sincere application. To Ted's surprise, it worked out extremely well and within a very short time, there was a great improvement in some areas of habitation. Bopha had remarkably translated the various aspirations of Ted into reality with her sheer impulse to impress Ted which would change him for a favourable decision. Ted was closely monitoring her progress in the various assignments to ensure her total involvement. Her efforts proved exemplary. He was hopeful that ultimately, her commitments to the community would become very strong to offset the failure in her relationship with him. 

Finally, the official communication from the United Nations was received on the elections to be held within the next three months. Ted was contemplating to disclose this to Bopha along with his final plans. He was ambitious to ensure that Bopha's life should be a renaissance with  revolutionary optimism for others to follow. An activist with a positive attitude for building up a whole new social system for the people manacled with unity. In short, the  image of Bopha should not be just confined to a mere housewife.  She should take up an undaunted leadership oriented towards transforming her community to a progressive and prosperous society.  During the coffee break, Bopha asked Ted whether he would like to go with her in the evening for a visit to the nearby Pagoda for a prayer and meditation. Ted had heard about the sanctity of the Pagoda and the dominant spiritual life which Buddhism advocated. He decided to go with her, as he thought the peaceful  environment in the Pagoda could make Bopha agree to accept his challenging aspirations of her future role as a selfless leader.

Bopha was thrilled at his consent to go with her to the Pagoda. She thought that she had very well impressed him to change his earlier evasive decisions, and sincerely believed that he would agree to marry her. As they were halfway to the Pagoda, there was torrential downpour, and they moved into a dilapidated building for a shelter; by the time they arrived in the building, they were totally drenched. The wet clothes on their bodies exposed their transparent contours so vividly, they could not avoid being attracted physically to each other.The prevailed tranquility of the scene was more conducive to romantic concepts and persistent passion. Bopha's obsession obviously was not blind to make use of such a situation. Her lustful feelings did not fail to recognize Ted's reciprocal passionate eagerness to participate. Her wait was too long for such a moment all these days, and having had it, she would not like it to go by,without utilizing it to her advantage. To accomplish this, she displayed a kind of provocative posture which was too captivating for Ted, and nearly compelled him to concede to her invitation. His craving looks and body language blinded his glorious vision of the future, and acted as reflective pointers of his desire for a physical relationship with her. Bopha was intelligent enough to perceive this, and believed that Ted would play her game.  It was a critical moment for Ted, and he was about to succumb to his feelings.

Suddenly his inner conscience warned him about the consequences.  He would become committed to her for a lifetime through his passionate participation. His foresight of the prosperous future for the community, would become just a mere illusion. His efforts to improve the impoverished society through her leadership, could just end in a mirage. At last, Ted was strong enough to resist his temptation. He realized his momentary weakness and walked out of the building. Bopha followed him. Both had strong guilty feelings, well  reflected in their expressions. Immersed in total silence, they decided to continue their earlier errand to visit the Pagoda.

In the Pagoda, Bopha preferred to be left alone for her meditation and prayer. Ted was taken round by a monk, who explained to him the various facilities provided by the Pagoda for their followers. The traditional simple outfit of the monks and the ancient architectural grandeur in the Pagoda added more tranquility for the prayers. On his visiting the Pagoda, Ted was convinced how important the codes of selfªdiscipline were for any faith to be followed. While they were returning, both Bopha and Ted maintained their silence.  Bopha was feeling ashamed of her behaviour in the ruined building. She was longing to apologize to Ted for whatever happened there. She was only pondering how to initiate a conversation with him, as, she was very embarrassed even to face him.

After their rendezvous in the building, Ted weighed the pros and cons of his decision against marrying her. With his negative response, he could think of a drastic development in Bopha's receding to the earlier state of despondency. He had realized that her social involvement would not offset or compensate her disappointment in her personal life.  From Bopha's side, at every given opportunity, she confirmed her strong desire to be his wife, and followed it up with frequent impressive responses. It was only Ted who wished otherwise. But Ted had also developed a concern for her from the beginning, and suddenly he was not willing to be blind to such a feeling. He was recollecting her earlier words that she would pray to God everyday for a married life only with him. Ted knew that by these words she meant clearly that in the event of his refusing to marry her, she would spend rest of her life alone. After appraising all factors, Ted was finally convinced that he should marry her.  His apprehension of cultural differences between them did dominate in his mind; but, he was prepared to live with them. However, this was leading him to two options, either to stay for some more time in that province after their marriage, when the Centre could be managed by somebody trained, or, to return to his country with Bopha without any concern for the Centre's future. But he was averse to the latter, as he hated to be so selfish. Bopha finally settled her scores with him through an open apology for whatever happened in the building. This was helpful to break the impasse of silence between them.

When he disclosed his decision to marry her, she could not believe it. She thought for a moment that some miracle was happening. She was puzzled with a new feeling full of excitement and exhilaration. But Ted was equally concerned regarding the future of the Medical Centre. He wanted her to find a suitable alternate to handle her duties. Bopha was prepared to comply with any of Ted's request, so far as, it ensured her becoming a part of his life. The next two weeks in their life were full of romantic preludes. More than Ted, Bopha was in a dream world of her future life with Ted. Her interest and involvement in the Centre as well as the community had picked up unprecedented momentum. She was also hastening the process of identifying a suitable person to be trained from her community. In short, she was longing to go to Canada with Ted.

It was a Friday evening. Bopha and Ted had finished their duties early for the day, and were ready to return home.  At the entrance, Bopha saw a middle aged man coming very fast towards her. He stopped and informed her that his father was very seriously sick and he could not be brought to the Centre from their village.  He insisted that Ted should come and save him. Ted agreed to go with him along with Bopha. The visitor had come with his vehicle  to take them.  Bopha was jubilant as the travel would provide her with opportunity for intimate time with Ted. After nearly an hour's journey, they were able to reach the village. The patient was an old man,suffering from acute pneumonia. Ted gave the antibiotics and his condition stabilized. Ted advised on the follow up procedures and provided them with the required medicines for speedy recovery.

By the time Ted and Bopha began their return journey, it was late in the evening. The setting sun was getting down fast into the dark clouds. Bopha was looking forward for the nocturnal journey, as she could enjoy again the feeling of togetherness with Ted. En route, Bopha saw a rose garden on the side of the road. The roses were varied in color and distinctly bright even in the partial darkness. Bopha could not resist her temptation to give a beautiful rose to Ted with her love. It was more an impelling urge within her, insisting to acknowledge Ted with such a gift for his benevolence. Bopha wanted the vehicle to be stopped in spite of Ted's warning that it was already late to return. But she assured Ted that she would be back immediately. She got down from the vehicle and walked the distance to the rose garden. She was attracted towards a large red rose at the far end. She was reaching to get it.  It was already dark and Ted could hardly see her inside the garden. Suddenly, Ted heard a loud explosion from the garden side. He was shocked and rushed to the spot, only to find  Bopha had stepped on a live landmine, which exploded instantly and killed her. 

When Ted recovered from the terrible shock, he could see the community crowd with tearful eyes and folded hands coming towards him. They were looking at him as the only ray of hope after Bopha, and pleaded for his stay with them to continue his services. From the beginning, Ted was dreaming of Bopha's leadership role in the future of the community; later, he had to reconcile to give her a life, which she was longing for, with him;  but it was a providential final verdict that he had to take over the mission without her.