The Point of Return

- P.Krishnamoorthy

The setting sun was finishing the day’s work, leaving the golden  sky to welcome the silvery moon.  From the balcony of her apartment Shilpa was enjoying the scene of a group of birds in the sky returning home. The birds were flying in a unique and disciplined  formation. They do not speak nor make any sign language  to understand each other but they are united in the strict sense of the term unlike the human kind. While  the spectacle was quite occupying Shilpa’s  mind, she was thinking over  her intended marriage next week.  She was an optimist but at same time she was an opportunist with excitement and aspirations.. She believed in her dogma that an opportunist only could make quick progress in life. She even terminated her earlier love affair with Ravi to come to America.

It was in August four years before Shilpa landed on the American soil in Chicago after her marriage with Sushil in India. It was only an arranged marriage by the families. Yet there was absolute understanding between them. Sushil was working  on a decent salary in an American firm.  There was never a storm in their life to weather through and they had all fun and happiness. Weekends were busy in socialising parties. 

One night Sushil and Shilpa were returning from a party and Sushil felt uneasy in his breathing. Next morning Shilpa took him to the hospital. After many tests the doctors’ final diagnosis revealed that he had leukemia and he would not live more than six months. It was a shock to both of them. Sushil was young in age and he was in better heath all the time. Finally the storm had come and both had to face it. More than Sushil, Shilpa was more concerned about her future. She even thought she could have married Ravi and be with their kith and kin in India. The fun and joy prevailed all along in their home had become a history.  Adding fuel to fire, Sushil was laid off in his job. This came as a rude shock to Shilpa. She started ignoring him.  Sushil observed her total indifference towards him but  he was helpless in countering her due to his current health status. Sushil was counting the days in the shadow of death. He later found that she was thinking of marriage again for her future; but with whom was bothering  her.

It was a Saturday morning. Sushil and Shilpa were having their breakfast when there was a  telephone call. Shilpa picked up the phone.  The caller did not identify his name but simply said  “How are  you Shilpa?”. The voice was very familiar  to her but she could not recollect the person immediately.“It is quite long before we met  each other. That is why you could not remember me”  again the caller spoke to her.  “Who is this?” Shilpa continued her talk, “Your old friend Ravi from Bomby”. Shilpa’s face gleamed with joy. When she was thinking about marriage again and was trying to find a suitable person, Ravi’s call came very handy to her,  “Hei! What a surprise you’re here. Why don’t you come down to my place?’ Shilpa was jubilant in inviting him to her home. Sushil did observe  the happy impact of the call on Shilpa’s face.  “Sushil! Ravi my old college mate from Bombay had come here on a job and he only called me now. I invited him to our home”. Shilpa finally divulged  the identity of the caller.

On that weekend Ravi made a surprise visit to Shilpa’s place. During their conversation,  they  recollected the old memories  and at the end  Shilpa found  that Ravi was not married.  When she informed Sushil’s health condition,  Ravi was feeling sorry for her. His  successive visits  indicated to Shilpa that he was still interested in her.  She offered to marry him after sometime meaning after the demise of Sushil. When  this proposal was presented to Ravi, he was upset and  flatly refused to accept her offer. but gave an option to marry her now after  Sushil gives a divorce to her. Shilpa did not expect such a condition  from Ravi, but at the same time she was not inclined to miss this  opportunity. She preferred time to consider this option. The reason  put forth by Ravi was that his parents may not agree for his marriage with a widow later but  he could convince them for his marriage with a divorcee. His parents viewed Ravi’s marriage with Shilpa after the death of Sushil as inauspicious..    

   

At the dinner time Shilpa herself started the conversation. “Sushil!  Our married life though short lived, was a successful one.  Many a time at every given opportunity you have proved to be a good and a kind husband. I have never felt any intrusion by you in my way of life.  But unfortunately we have to part ourselves soon by the the cruel hand of fate. As far my future is concerned though you have not so far suggested anything, I have on my own decision  to marry again and lead rest of my life.”

“Shilpa I could very well understand your feelings. I do not have objection to your marriage after my death” With these words  Sushil though gave his consent, he was emotionally disturbed at the turn of events in his life. After considerable thought he was convinced, he agreed  with her proposal, for she was young and she had to live. He knew What Shilpa had asked him was purely selfish without any bearing on the good and happy times so far with her. More than this he would be living a lonely little length of time  if he gave her a divorce now.  Instead if she gets married after his demise, that  atleast she would be with him in his last days. But her demanding her ‘pound of flesh’ under the pretext that Ravi’s parents agreeing for the wedding only as with a divorcee and not with a widow.  Sushil felt very strange at her insistence; .  Though it made no difference between  marrying a divorcee or  a widow, according to the society, marrying a widow was considered  inauspicious. Considering Shilpa’s future, Sushil had reluctantly agreed to this. She thanked him profusely for his kind gesture.  Shilpa called Ravi on the telephone immediately and conveyed Sushil’s acceptance of his condition and wanted him to fix the date early.

Sushil signed all the necessary documents for the divorce and Shilpa filed the papers with the authorities. After a couple of hearings, the Court granted the divorce.   At the agreed date the marriage between Ravi and Shilpa took place and Sushil also attended the simple wedding. While she was very jubilant, Sushil did express his parting with tears in his eyes but blessed her on the occasion. . He was cursing  his fate, as first it had taken away his Shilpa from him and soon  it would take him also. Two months had rolled by and Shilpa never visited him.  Sushil expected at least she would call on the telephone to enquire about his health; but was disappointed over her silence. On his regular check-up the doctors informed him that his condition remained status quo. Accordingly only two more months to go for the final hour.

After Shilpa left him, Sushil was alone except with occasional visits by his close friend Dinesh. He was totally depressed with the doctors’ latest verdict; he now realized that only divine power could rescue him from the calamity  Except praying God, there was no other option left to him. In his wild thoughts, he felt that he should meet all his friends and relatives to bid farewell  before the deadline date. He could not think any other better person to organize this, than his close friend Dinesh. He called Dinesh on the telephone and requested him to arrange for the party. Dinesh also agreed  to do so on a weekend in  his spacious home.

It was a strange party as it was a forum where Sushil could meet all his friends and few relatives to declare his intended end. But the invitees knew the purpose of that gathering and hence they could not bring any gifts nor they could exchange sentimental greetings. Sushil was extremely happy on the number of people attended. To his surprise he saw Shilpa and Ravi coming. They shook hands with Sushil. Ravi left Shilpa with Sushil to talk to other friends. Sushil saw Shilpa after a long time and he could see the prosperity and happiness in her whole structure; her eyes were bright in their looks and she was in  good shape. “How is your health?” Shilpa initiated  the conversation. In fact when  she  came in, she observed Sunil. His face was pale with shrunken eyes distinctly displaying the fear of imminent death. At the sight of him, she became very emotional and recollected the past memories with him.  Sushil definitely answered her with a simple answer “I am okay waiting the d-day to come”. Though each one felt sorry for the other, silence remained as the language between them.The party was coming to end when all the invitees were bidding farewell to Sushil, As the turn of Shilpa and Ravi came, Sushil noticed Shilpa’s eyes were full of tears. The memories of her living with him  could not be so easily  erased in her mind.  She was not able to say any parting word to him and simply walked out of the scene.

After all the invitees had left the party, Dinesh took Sushil to his prayer room. Sushil saw a picture  of some saint in saffron robes hanging on the wall. Dinesh offered Sushil  little quantity of ash in silver container and mixed  it with milk. When Sushil asked what for was this exercise, Dinesh convinced him that would cure his illness. Sushil just laughed at Dinesh and said ‘Dinesh ! you’re out of your mind. How could that ash cure my serious illness.”  “Sushil whether you believe it or not,  for my sake you should take this. Even if it would not help you, there was no harm in taking this, I am your good friend and well-wisher.” Dinesh was more compelling  him with these words. Sushil could not say any word after this and drank the milk with the ash mixed in it. When Sushil returned home it was already past midnight.

When he got up the next morning Sushil  was surprised to feel very brisk and no weakness in his body. He telephoned immediately Dinesh about his feelings. Promptly came the reply from Dinesh that the ash was divinely blessed. In his next  medical checkup the doctors were surprised to find no traces of leukemia in his body and all their tests cleared this. They did repeat tests but they had also showed the same results. While the doctors were puzzled  at this, Sushil was on top of the world. The shadow of death had disappeared and Sushil could visualise life with absolute happiness combined with fun and joy. The doctors were questioning him   to know  how this miracle had happened.  Sushil’s response was a divine miracle. What the medical technologies could not achieve, divine power had done it.  He called Dinesh to  inform this and profusely thanked him for compelling him to drink that milk  He also wanted to arrange a party again to celebrate the event.

When he returned it was late evening.. He felt the absence of Shilpa now to share this happy news. He was inclined to call up Shilpa, but only the answering machine responded.  He switched on the TV and he saw the breaking news of a major car accident reported on CNN. A Lexus SUV crashed at the intersection of George Avenue and 40^th Street in mid town of  Chicago leaving the driver  named Ravi died on the spot. Sushil was shocked at the news and immediately called Dinesh to check on this news. He could now understand the answering machine’s response on Shilpa’s telephone. Dinesh confirmed the tragic news and  Sushil rushed  to the hospital to see Shilpa. At the hospital when Shilpa saw Sushil, she broke down and it was very hard for him to console her,  After she was settled Sushil informed the good news about his health and  Shilpa congratulated him.

After the demise of Ravi , Shilpa felt very lonely. She was not inclined to meet her old friends nor attend  any social gatherings. She contacted Sushil often and shared her loneliness. She was reflecting her feelings of isolation to him that he could understand. She was very much inclined to know whether he could take her back in his life. But she was frightened  to make a direct approach  as she was now a widow and Sushil would pay in her own coin that it would be inauspicious to marry a widow. On a comparison, between the two, Sushil’s short married life was only with Shilpa whereas her total married life was divided between the two.The memories of Sushil’s  happy married life were still fresh  in him,  as he lived in such memories; whereas with Shilpa, she had to recollect the memories since they were overshadowed by subsequent  different happy memories with Ravi.      Sushil’s longing to take Shilpa again as a life partner was more emotional and sincere, when compared to Shilpa’s inclination to take him was more objective and selfish for an assurance to her future life.

 One evening  Shilpa invited him for a dinner and  they were discussing their  various future  plans of which one was relating to their marital status. Shilpa indirectly sent a feeler of her intentions. She was surprised at his response – “I do not have any objection in getting married to a widow” . Shilpa accepted his offer instantly. Time alone would decide whether it was an emotional or objective approach succeeds finally in life for her, and to deserve the point of return.