culture conflict 

                                                    - P. Krishnamoorthy

When the culture angles differ, the result of conflict has always been an enigma to be solved. This problem arises among families of immigrants living in foreign countries. As a good example, a reference to foreign nationals living in the United States can be cited.  United States of America was born only out of migrated people.     Even today the United States is the only country in the world that has not shut its doors to      millions of people who wish to immigrate here. This great country,    while regulating     the numerical count of   immigrants    based on   various considerations, has not totally pulled down the shutters for immigrants to settle here.  In the process, the society that was built-in, obtained a diversified and mixed culture. The American society, while attempting to absorb the cultures of many countries by peaceful co-existence, failed   in its     attempt to save    some other cultures from perishing, due to the hegemony and dominance of other cultures. Some became isolated while others survived with their cultural identity intact, in the subliminal process. Within this backdrop of   renaissance of cultures, the class that suffers is the younger generation. While balancing between traditional or conservative and progressive or liberal dogmas, they are caught in between      two different cultures –    one at home in the traditions of their motherland, and the other, the progressive or liberal American culture.

Among  the immigrant families that came here three decades ago, ours was one among them.  I was born here, and I am the only female child born to my parents. While growing up, enduring their anxiety that I should not miss the traditional Indian culture base, I was compelled by them to learn the classical Indian dance. They made arrangements for me to learn that age-old-art. Out of fascination I also evinced a very keen interest and fidelity in the art. To a great extent, it helped me to adopt myself to the Indian cultural background. During my college education, I devoted time to learn that art and reached an acceptable level by its standards. On completing my last year of college, I was proficient enough in various types of dance that qualified me for the inaugural performance on the stage called “Arangetram” or the graduating ceremony. Folks who sponsored the performance also invited the media to cover the event. There were some American reporters, among the group, who attended the function.

 For me, the long awaited glorious evening had arrived. I was going to perform before an audience, my first classical dance of ‘Bharathanatyam’ that involved the use of fast rhythmic footwork, ‘lasya’ the gracious body movements, hand gestures and facial expressions. Initial nervousness surfaced, but I was able to overcome it through my motivation and dedication. For the event, I arrived on stage wearing colorful costumes and make up. Among the celebrities in the first row, I was attracted to an American reporter who seemed young, handsome and smart; his eyes were powerful and they radiated his inner energy. His dimpled cheeks added extra forte to this personality. He was incredibly placid, beyond my expectation. I felt compelled to see him again and again, and a strange feeling evolved gradually within me that I had never before experienced.  I would not call it mere infatuation or attraction. There was this strong inner urge that I continually wanted to be with him. This strange new emotional feeling was unprecedented. To my surprise, he also reciprocated. I absorbed an invisible understanding in unspoken words that began developing between us.

 After offering the initial prayer to the dancing God Nataraja, I started my initial steps to begin my performance.  I could not imagine any other reason for the exceptional  perfection in my performance except the inner feeling that I must impress and convince this young reporter who had suddenly become ‘someone’ dear to me. I would say that, in my mind, a sense of belonging to him had already developed. I finished the ‘bavas’ and ‘mudras’ so well, I could hear the chorus cheers from the audience. This instant kudos exhilarated me so deeply that I felt my eyes welling up in tears.  Applauding with the audience, the young reporter’s eyes were focused sharply on me; he was concentrating on my colorful costume. At the end of the performance, I rushed to exit the stage to meet and thank him in person for his appreciation. To my surprise, he was also waiting for me. He introduced himself as Arthur of the “Daily Mail”, and he attended the performance to record and review the event. When he said my name, “Nandini”, I was taken aback. However, he instantly justified the source of knowing my name by the invitation. In reviewing my performance, he praised my personal beauty and the excellent rhythmic footwork and movements of my body. This maiden public performance of my recital ended in great success. My parents were very happy and proud that I was able to cling so strongly to the Indian cultural background in spite of my birth and upbringing in a foreign country for more than two decades.

 On that night, a new kind of obsession dominated within me. I could not explain my sudden involvement with Arthur. However, as much as I tried to account for this strange feeling, I was defeated in my quest. I was unable to forget his face that my mind had registered so indelibly. I began to feel a kind of attachment toward him, and a longing to meet and talk with him.  I have read many romantic novels with descriptive narration of such feelings. I realized that I was experiencing these feelings and reflected on this new state of mind. I felt the personal chemistry between us to be very compatible. I was very sure that this was not just a feeling of infatuation or friendship, it went beyond that.  It was more a mental debate; my trying to assess the reasons for my attachment to him. Probably, this is the feeling they term ‘love’.  In short, he was the driving force behind my laurels and glory. To sum up this strange feeling, it haunted me mercilessly and fuelled my confused mind. The biological requirement of my youth also joined this coup, urging to strengthen the relationship between us.

I was wondering how I would convince my parents on the issue of taking him as a life partner when they were totally traditional and conservative in their attitude and outlook. I knew that my proposal to marry Arthur would not elicit any consent from them. What was puzzling, I had lived with my parents for so many years and had never thought of doing anything against their wishes. Now my mind was suddenly focused on marrying Arthur, and that would be a big blow to them. It occurred to me that the younger generation could only think about themselves when they wished to choose a partner for life.

At that stage, I was caught between my responsibility toward my parents - to satisfy them in their aspirations to have a traditional marriage with an Indian - and the love that I was developing toward Arthur. I had to confront my feelings for both of them. After extensive thinking, the scale finally tilted on Arthur’s side. I had to inform my parents of my love for him. But going against their wishes would be a colossal crime that they would remember forever. The dictates of my conscience warned me of the injustice to be carried out against my loving parents, but the emotional and impulsive drive being experienced led Arthur and I to meet discreetly and frequently.

In our dates we discussed everything. Our initial conversations covered each other’s physical features as part of the love syndrome. Our deliberations also included review of our conflicting cultures. During one conversation, I was able to understand Arthur’s poor opinion of Indian culture. This hurt my sentiments very seriously. According to Arthur, the Indian culture and connected disciplines totally deprived women of individual rights and entitlement under the label of “restrictions”. Their personal feelings and thoughts were never allowed to be expressed by men folk on any issue and unilaterally were against women. Such decisions were strictly confined to conventions. Any amount of legislation passed to make laws on equality issues were to no avail; the society was still clinging to its age-old sentiments. According to him “the highest form of human excellence is to question oneself and others," than just blindly following what they preach. Behind the common man’s everyday living, the society visualized divinity to hold the age-old sentiments. Anybody who violates their philosophy was considered a ‘sinner’ from a divine point of view and lampooned. To hold to one’s own intellectual thought and expressing it openly was considered a sin.  

  Besides this point of view, according to Arthur’s theory, all Indian arts are connected to Indian divinity to make them popular among the people. This notion is nothing but a bequest over generations. For instance, the dance art was connected to Lord Nataraja, an incarnation of the God Shiva. According to Arthur, even the flaws in the art were viewed in blurred vision and condoned. Such flaws or irregularities have not been manifested or magnified or even pointed out; they were overlooked with divine dimensions or religious disciplines. His arguments were centered to the point that Indian culture used religion to make various arts popular with the people; this could not be roped to the moorings of reasoning.  It is better to live as a hero for a day than living as a coward forever. Without bending to the blind laws of the society, if the individual becomes a rebel and exposes the flaws of blind faith, he was branded as a sinner. Then he would become rock solid in his uncompromising advocacy against societal sentiments. When he was punished with death he becomes a martyr.  He was citing the example of the Greek philosopher Socrates who held strongly to his dogmas even when he was punished with death and became a martyr in history.

  The religious sword forever hanging on one’s head, the performers or critics of various Indian arts never had the courage and freedom to point out certain unacceptable norms of the art. However, with the passage of time, the society finally objected to making changes to the art. They were strong enough to punish such critics openly and labeled them outcasts and hostile to the society. This was Arthur’s explanation as to why he was not totally in favour of Indian arts. He liked the various movements in any particular piece, its speed compatible to rhythm, sweet melodies and the accompaniments as pure art. He also liked the rich appropriate costumes connected with the art and the beautiful performers in the role, but he was against such arts painted in religious faith. He used to compare western ballet and other folk dances which were more realistic and simple.

  “Arthur! You have misunderstood our Indian culture. Life is a period between birth and death of an individual. This period is divided into various phases under a natural process; each phase differing from the other but leading to the next one.  Under a society that was formed on common disciplines, these individuals live; forming families through wedlock that contribute to their wellbeing and others. In the struggle they confront many problems and deal with them effectively to sustain themselves, and bear children as wards for the future. Whereas your culture has no basis at all, it is barbarian in character.  Under ‘freedom’ and ‘liberty’ labels, your culture insists on isolationism without any consideration or importance to family values and human bond. We can see your culture’s open manifestations in separation of families in huge numbers.” That is how I responded to his serious allegations about Indian culture. Arthur was unhappy about my substantive explanation of his culture.

“Nandini!  You cannot degrade our culture.  Only when an individual is isolated, he thinks on his own, and he is not influenced in any way. Even if he faces defeat in his activism of his personal views, he is still considered a victor and not vanquished. He is not compromising himself for the sake of others.” Repeated discussions along these lines finally left both of us feeling that neither of us would give up our personal conviction.    

 Arthur invited me to attend his birthday celebrations. Regrettably the date clashed with my dance programme that was already fixed. He kept insisting on my personal presence at his birthday party; he even advised that the dance performance is not that important. His words carried a tone of anger that he repeated very strongly. The dance recital was important for me. It would be presided over by Swarnamuki, a well known exponent from India. He again reiterated that I should participate in the birthday function and cancel the dance programme. I then felt that I had to explain to him what was important to me. I made it very clear to him that my life’s aspiration was only to reach the highest level in the dance discipline. In that process, my own personal marriage would have to take a back seat.

When Arthur ordered me to participate in his birthday event, my ego did not allow me to accede to his request.  My parents never ordered me around, and Arthur had only recently come into my life. With differing personal opinions, in particular our cultures, I felt married life with Arthur could never be smooth sailing; daily bickering would be the end result. Domestic harmony seemed to be more a mirage than reality. In view of this, I decided against marriage with Arthur and informed him accordingly. He was in great shock about my decision to break our relationship; it was indeed a surprise to him. But after perceptive thinking, he wanted me to reconsider the decision. He would still be expecting me to attend his birthday party. Indeed, I became confused between two matters: the short span of time I’d spent in Arthur’s company, and the quick progress I was making in my dance career. After deep consideration, I decided to continue with my dance career over our relationship.

The dance recital, presided over by Swarnamuki in the presence of selected celebrities, was a great success. I performed every number: Alaripu, Jatiswaran, Shabdam, Varnam, Padams, Javalis, Kirtanam and Tillana so well that Swarnamuki showed her appreciation for all of them. She mentioned that on retiring in India, she was looking for someone who could take over her position there. She had now made that choice, and was asking for my consent. I explained that I would require some time to think as it involved moving to India.

As I exited the stage, a young man came running toward me bearing a bouquet of flowers. He inquired if I was Nandini, and I answered in the affirmative. He responded that Arthur had sent these flowers with greetings and congratulations on my dance performance. It was a big surprise to me; the flowers were brought by a young man instead of Arthur. I asked him where Arthur was. He responded that there was a serious car accident and Arthur had been admitted to the hospital. I immediately rushed to the hospital with the young man where I learned that Arthur was in a critical condition due to extensive head injury. They then took me to the room where he was lying.

Except for his face, from head to toe he was covered with bandages. I whispered my name to him, and he instantly opened his eyes. Despite his inability to speak, he managed to utter personal wishes for the dance recital and appreciated my cultural bond and determination. On finishing his birthday celebrations early, he was driving to attend my dance performance when, because of speeding, an accident occurred. He had sustained serious head injuries. In his dying stage he wished me much success with future performances and that I continue my implicit faith in the cultural bond. Echoing those words, Arthur’s life came to an end.

Despite our differences, Arthur was a good friend, philosopher and a guide in my life. Having lost him, I informed Swarnamuki of my decision to move to India. In dedication to Arthur, I offered myself a career in dance.