On the flip side………
P.Krishnamoorthy
The waning winter was drifting into oblivion at the approach of the spring around the corner in Chicago. Relaxing in a recliner, I was debating myself about my marriage with Dr. Ramesh to take place in ten days time. This is not my first marriage to feel jubilant, as five years before I loved Chandru and married him. Our wedlock blossomed in the birth of Shalini. But our happy married life was short lived as two months before Chandru was detected with cancer and his end came all of a sudden. In this backdrop how I could be happy with the proposed wedding when the memories of life with Chandru were still green in my mind.
Ramesh and Chandru were thick pals and Ramesh, a bachelor boy, spent most of his spare time and holidays in our home. He had an affectionate attachment towards Shalini and reciprocally Shalini also liked him very much. Two months ago when Chandru was returning from work in the snowfall, he got infected with a viral fever which prolonged for a week. He was finally admitted in a nearby hospital where the cruel disease of cancer was detected. Since Ramesh also was working in the same hospital, he took care of his various tests and as per Ramesh, Chandru’s cancer was fast spreading and his life span could not be more than six months.
Sometime before Chandru had taken a life insurance policy for a substantial amount. Since Chandru’s end was more certain, Ramesh promised to get me a job as well as to expedite the insurance amount after Chandru’s demise. The two options left before me regarding my future life were either to return to India or to take the choice of Ramesh of taking the job in Chicago and with the insurance money to live on. I was not in favor of returning to India as my in-laws treated me differently as my love marriage with their son was not approved by them Left with the only alternative, I decided to take up the job in Chicago and raise Shalini here itself.
Exactly as predicted the demise of Chandru happened. Since no other relative was able to come for the funeral, Ramesh himself did the last rites for Chandru. Though the death was forewarned, I was still suffering from the grief for a long time. Since then Ramesh’s daily visit to my home was more consoling to Shalini besides me. One evening Ramesh came to our home to leave some incoming mails in Chandru’s name, received in the hospital, He was about to start a conversation, but some hesitation held him up. I noticed some different behavior in him.
“Ramesh! Something you wanted to say, but abruptly you stopped it”. I questioned him.
“Sushi, it is now more than two months since Chandru’s death. With the job you have now and with insurance money, you can comfortably lead a life. But how could you escape from lonliness. After all, you are still young and a long way to go. Have you thought of getting a new companion for the rest of your life?”. With these words Ramesh made a pause and was eagerly waiting for my response. Ramesh often discussed about realities of future life and he cited numerous instances where people had not made the timely decision about taking the new life partner and suffered miserably later.
“Ramesh! Who could come forward to marry a widow with a child? Even somebody is prepared for it, he should be acceptable to me and he should be affectionate towards Shalini.”
“Sushi! If there is one who would be complying with your conditions, are you ready for taking him?”
“Ramesh! I would think about this when such a person is available”
“Sushi! I am prepared to comply with your conditions. You know my attachment towards Shalini”
I never anticipated such an offer from Ramesh. He never indicated anything directly or indirectly before. It was a puzzle to me and I don’t know how to solve it. I took time to think it over. My mind was full of thoughts about Ramesh’s offer. In a way Ramesh was right. In the interest of Shaslini. I should give a serious thought on this. She was too young and it was the proper time for me to take a new life partner, as later, after some years, if I think to marry I should marry a stranger as Ramesh would not be waiting for me till that time. He did the last rites for Chandru also.
Ramesh was handsome and young and was placed in a professional job. There would be many who would come forward to marry him. I was lucky to have this offer from him Yet it was hardly few months since Chandru’s demise and his memories were still alive in my memory. With the pros and cons of the offer, I was wavering to take a decision. Weavering was a stage where the mind was totally in confusion. Impulsive decisions were made by emotional feelings. After deep deliberations in my mind I decided to accept Ramesh’s offer. Two days later I was reminded by Ramesh about my decision. When I confirmed my positive response, he was overwhelmed in jubilation and visited me with a bouquet of flowers; he had even fixed our wedding date.
It was only few days to go for the wedding when I had sometime to go thru the mails left by Ramesh earlier. Amidst various letters I found one personal diary in the pile. In my effort to find whose diary it was, I saw the various accounts where Ramesh had to pay amounts in different dates and my insurance money appropriated against them, This evidence tipped the scale to call off the wedding. Never before Ramesh indicated anything about his debts and he now proved himself to be totally selfish. He wanted to marry me only for the insurance money and not for my welfare. I decided to tell Ramesh that we will postpone the wedding to sometime later, as I feel uncomfortable since it was only a month since Chandru’s death . Postponing the wedding was mainly to stall the issue as otherwise he would delay my insurance money.
I tried to contact Ramesh to inform this; but he was not in the hospital. When I turned on the TV for the news, I was shaken as if there was an earthquake under my feet, shattering me to pieces. It was the breaking news in CNN that one Dr Ramesh was arrested in connection with the death of Chandru as he had administered wrong medication and hastened Chandru’s death. This was found by a team of doctors in the hospital. My Chandru was in smiles in the photograph on the wall.
