The Executioner of the 
'ceremonial murder'
-P.Krishnamoorthy 

(The backdrop for this story dates before 1986 when hanging was the official      method used to carry out death sentences in the State of Delaware)

The dawn was customary in Greenville, Delaware.  William Thomas got up early from bed after a disturbed night of sleep. He was brooding over a communication received from the James T Vaughan Correction Centre; he was scheduled to carry out a hanging sentence on a day and time during the next week. He was upset because the scheduled day happened to be an important day in his life – his birthday, wedding day, and his retirement day – all falling on the same day. He would retire from service as an experienced hangman, having more than two hundred hangings to his ‘credit’ during the past three decades. Though he joined the Correctional facility as a warden, he opted for hangman’s cadre for the sake of higher pay.   As a young man, initially he did not mind the concept of killing somebody if it was ordered by the Justice department.

After his marriage, his wife encouraged him to attend church services regularly. The church environment, prayers and its basic divine principle -not to harm anybody- held tremendous appeal. He became extremely dissatisfied with handling the killing machine and consistently toyed with the idea of joining any other profession. However, his resume reflected his position as ‘Executioner’ thereby disqualifying him in all his attempts for improvement. Hangman or executioner, he was shunned as a disgraceful human being even by the neighbours. Thomas had read extensively about the Executioner’s job - once hereditary for generations - and the notable dynasty was the Pierrepoints in Britain. During that period, the job was respected by a section of society. He had also read other comments about the hangman’s job as ‘ridiculously illogical’ - hangmen, in carrying out judicial orders, were incapable of analyzing whether it was  morally right or wrong, and by some favouring factions, it was equal to a soldier killing the enemy to save and serve the motherland.

Initially, hangmen were bound to have remorse or any other emotional feelings, but in the long run they got used to the ‘killing’ by carrying out similar assignments. They would have difficulty assimilating the experience in their personal lives … and the suggestion to agree with what you do, and depersonalize as soldiers do. Soldiers kill "enemies" with a sense of duty but a hangman has no choice in selecting them. The man who pulled the lever to cause death had to be an impassive man and that impassiveness was the bedrock principle of justice. Possibly, he controls his emotions within the boundaries of his personal feelings.  One critic had recorded that the victim in hanging ‘sees death in front of him’. Thomas did not agree with such chronicles. He was now against the concept of planned ‘killing’ of one human by another under the shelter of judicial authority.

To make ends meet in the household budget, he continued his service against his will. His divine faith helped him to have a strong mind to accept the inevitable, and compelled him to make a ‘confession’ in a church nearby after completion of every hanging. Though Judicial authority was there to protect him for every hanging, he continued doing so with a heavy heart and guilty conscience. On completing his assignment, he would wash his sinful hands and cry briefly to alleviate depression. Whenever he received a communication for such an assignment, mental agony haunted him. It was difficult to conceal his feelings of remorse from his family… thus making him a ‘dual personality’.  He longed for retirement which would relieve him from the shackles of committing more sins, and he fervently prayed that before retirement he would not be scheduled for another assignment. 

The latest communication he received from the correctional facility had shattered his hope for an assignment-free retirement day. He tried to cancel the assignment. However, the request was refused because it was impossible to find an alternate for him on that day.  Left with no other choice he had to be in the correction facility at the time and date scheduled. As he prepared for the tragic event that would include checking the gallows, the lever, the rope and the noose, he was briefed that one Michael Smith of Wilmington would be the convict facing the death penalty. Smith had murdered a family of four in a gruesome way five years ago in Wilmington. His many ‘mercy’ appeals failed at all levels.  Smith had attended classes in Williston Middle School in Wilmington. Thomas interrupted reading the brief as he suddenly remembered someone with the same name who was associated with him some years prior.

A stroll down his memory lane vividly brought recollections of association with Smith who   had attended middle school education with him. Smith was an accredited basketball player. In all the inter-school tournaments Smith played so well that he successively brought laurels to Williston Middle School. After a love failure with Susan, his classmate, he became paranoid and dropped out of school. Later he joined a notorious street gang in Wilmington. Thomas had moved out from Wilmington and there was no further contact with him.  On recollection after so many years, he suddenly became very sulky and gloomy.

The new task of ‘killing’ his old friend and schoolmate was repulsive to him, and overshadowed his earlier regret to carry out an assignment on such an important day for him. He became very emotional at the thought, and his eyes filled with tears.  Unable to find a way to escape the predicament, he cursed fate that created such a scenario. Left with no other choice, he ardently offered prayers to God to show him a way to escape.By that time the officials and the doctor had gathered to witness the hanging.  After the doctor checked Smith’s physical and mental condition as fit, Smith’s head was covered with a black hood and led to the gallows. Like a silent spectator, the perplexed Thomas was waiting on the platform with the noose. Be that as it may, even at that time Thomas relied on his hope of not carrying out the deed. As Smith stepped on the platform, he suddenly felt uneasy and collapsed instantly.  Indeed, Thomas was shocked at Smith’s sudden behavior. The doctor rushed to the scene and examined Smith. He confirmed that he had suffered a massive cardiac arrest and died.

In moments in the cycle of life changes occur. Like lightning a ray of glee suddenly appeared on Thomas’ face. He was relieved from the guilt of killing his friend. And Smith, by his death, indirectly fulfilled the wish of Thomas avoiding an assignment on his date of birth. He was doubly happy that there would be no such assignments in the future. He would retire from service that day. Amidst unforeseen developments, Smith’s death penalty was still carried out as scheduled, not through the judicial process of hanging, but by destiny’s dictum of  death by way of a heart attack.

Courtesy:  Juxtapost.com

   

”The Twins”  in Abstract Art  -

 By P.Krishnamoorthy

ART BY P.KRISHNAMOORTHY

"Its vibrant feathers, its sparkling tail

Its iridescent beauty, in mystic detail

Choicest colours, glossed into one

Its elegant crest, never fails to stun.

When it rains, its astounding dance

Will leave you awestruck, even at a glance.

The prettiest bird, that comes to your mind

Vibrance and beauty, both combined.

Yes, it’s peacock, god’s own masterpiece

Whose marvellous charms, never will cease".

(POEM BY Ms.MahimaMisra)

Mohana Raga

P.  Krishnamoorthy

Sahana was amazed at the imposing and impressive mansion of her uncle with the name board T.K.Gopal glittering in golden letters.The security at the entrance enquired her as to whom she would like to see and she replied that she wanted  to see her uncle TKG. A female voice from the balcony ordered him to allow them inside. TKG’s wife Rukmani warmly welcomed Sahana. After she introduced herself with her name, she said “I am the daughter of Sarma of Kumbakonam (a temple city in South India) brother of TKG. Being a singer in classical music I wanted to become a disciple of  TKG to learn improvisations in classical music”. “TKG  had gone out of town and return only in the evening” replied Rukmani.. Sahana was prepared to wait till he returns.

Sahana saw the Pooja room adjoining the living room. It looked like a mini temple with many divine idols and portraits. On seeing them, her divine instinct made her to sing. Rukmani, who was hearing her melodious singing from the kitchen, came out and stood in a corner to continue listening to her music. Sahana was singing the  carnatic song “Mohana Rama”  by Saint Tyagaraja in Mohana Ragam. Rukhmani was engrossed  herself in that  melodious voice  combined with clarity and reflective divinity. When she finished, Rukmani complimented her profusely for her voice and added that this was also the uncle’s favorite Raga. After their lunch Sahana had a short nap in the next room.

It was five in the evening when TKG’s car entered the mansion.  Rukmani opened the entrance door . On seeing a suit case in the living room, he asked his wife as to who had come.  Rukmani hesitatingly replied that his brother’s daughter Sahana had come from Kumbakonam.  TKG was not happy with her visit as he was not in good terms with his brother for a long time due to family feuds.  He was   questioning the purpose of her trip. “If they need some monetary help, they could send a letter, instead of sending his daughter”. Rukmani said that Sahana had come to become  your disciple for improving her  knowledge in classical  music.. TKG queried his wife as to why she should plead for her so strongly when she knew about his decision of not taking anybody as a disciple.  She appealed to make an exception for Sahana as she had a very melodious  voice that was evidenced by her singing “Mohana Rama” song before the Pooja room. Yet TKG reiterated his stand on his earlier decision.

Rukhmani was his second wife after the death of first wife, Susheela. Rukmani  was in tears and claimed that she had never asked any favor from him.  Lamentably she was not also able to conceive a child as he wanted, and living with that guilt everyday. By God’s grace, though she got everything in life with TKG, she was missing the sacred motherhood to end her loneliness. The option to adopt some child from an orphanage, also was not acceptable to TKG. She was appealing to take Sahana only as a deciple in music and she would prove as an asset  to him thru her voice in the long run. TKG was deeply  moved at the unprecdented sentimental pleading of  his wife. As no other option left to him except to concede to his wife’s desire, he finally agreed to take Sahana as a disciple for music. Rukmani was jubilant and immensely happy on hearing TKG’s consent for her request.

Sahana also heard TKG’s consent as she came out from the room. She touched  her uncle’s feet for his blessings and thanked him for his generosity to accept her as a disciple.   TKG in turn, blessed her and, after enquiring the welfares of his brother, he wanted to know under whom Sahana was learning music in her place. She replied that she was taking lessons from  one Vasudeva Sharma, an elderly teacher who passed away only last week due to heart attack. TKG was interested in her present level of musical knowledge. She replied that she had come upto “Keerthana” (songs in  praise of God) level  and well versed in singing in all “Ragas” (musical framework). TKG’s evaluation then shifted to her depth of knowledge on the definition of music. According to her, classical music was to  consciously assimilate and feel the divinity with prayers in the only  language of musical form. He followed with a query on ‘swara’(dimension of musical pitch) difference between kalyani raga and mohanam. She gave the right answer. Finally he wanted her to sing in raga  ‘shanmugapriya’ and she did with the song “Saravanabhava Ennum”. TKG complimented  her singing that song and also her knowledge of music. He wanted to start her first lesson on the auspicious  ‘Saraswathi Pooja’ day. He also confirmed that her stay and other requirements would be taken care of by her aunt. As he went  inside his room,  Sahana’s affectionately calling him as ‘uncle’ again and again was reverberating in his ears. He was imagining  if her late daughter would have been alive now, she must be Sahana’s age  and loving called   him as ‘dad’. While he was get consoled with her loss, he could not endure his yearning for her. With these bitter feelings and tears in his eyes, he closed the doors.

Old memories tormented him. A recollection of them made him to recall his married life twenty years ago when he held the hand of Susheela in the wedding bond. As he was very fond of children, he desired to have one within a short time but Susheela was able to conceive only after two years.  He was excited on that belated news. But fate had a different agenda and Sushila died due to complications in delivery. Misfortune chased TKG miserably. The child also died after few hours of birth. Successive tragedies made TKG traumatized. Since then TKG lived a life in depression and desolation.

 

TKG’s friends and colleagues in  music world insisted TKG to get married again at least for the sake of a child. TKG was convinced and agreed for the proposal. He got married to Rukmani, the ‘tanpura’ player in his group. As per the old adage  “misfortune never comes in single but in battalions” was applicable in TKG ‘s life.  TKG was eagerly awaiting the news of  the new addition in the family; but only years passed and  Rukmani did not  conceive.  On medical check up it was found that due to infertility problem she would not be able to conceive for ever, TKG  was again disappointed and devastated.   Rukmani was shattered and tried  to commit suicide by taking excessive sleeping tablets. TKG was able to save her in time  by stopping her from sleeping. With that he was apprehensive of losing Rukmani also if TKG openly revealed his desire for a child.

 

On the Saraswathi Pooja day, Sahana  decorated the Pooja room with all flower garlands in bright colors. Sahana and Rukmani mutually were very happy in each other’s company and relationship. Before starting the music lessons, both asked her to sing a song on Goddess Saraswathi. She sang the song ‘Devi Jaga Janani’. When finished they praised her singing and blessed her with a new saree. The first lesson TKG said that music was the bed rock of divinity in life. He elucidated with examples ‘Swaras’ were the parameters of ‘Keerthana’. TKG was advocating that the classical music provided mental peace in daily life. Sahana felt her uncle’s teachings gave her more valuable lessons for life. Finally at his request she sang another Saint Tyagaraja’s composition “Samaja varagamanba’. TKG commended that she was singing the difficult high notes  flawlessly, because of her unique melodious voice that was a God’s gift to her. Time rolled by and Sahana was very happy with her present life.  It was around five in the evening on one day when the office-bearers from ‘Kalaivani Gana Sabha’came to invite TKG for their tenth anniversary celebrations and also seek consent for his concert on that day. TKG  accepted the invitation and agreed to give a concert.  He also indicated that Sahana would also be there with him.

 

The hall was filled with full compliment of invitees. As scheduled TKG came to the dais with his accompanying artists. The Secretary welcomed TKG and the gathering and honored him with a silk shawl. . He started with Tyagaraja’s composition of “Raghu Nayaka”. The entire auditorium was echoed with applause. Following this, he sang in ‘Devgandhari’ and another in ‘Kalyani’ ragas. The reactive applause from the audiance was thunderous. As desired by them, when TKG sang the song “Evaru Ninu Vina’  in Mohana raga, their  reaction  and excitement were extraordinary and TKG himself was surprised at their enthusiasm. When singing the ‘Keerthana’, TKG was trying to reach the high note, he felt uneasy and could not continue his singing.  He suddenly leaned on  the ‘tabela’ artist. Witnessing this, Sahana, to avoid any interruption, she continued where he left, and there was huge applause, At the request of the audience Sahana’s performance on the next two ‘Keerthanas’ were also well received. TKG came to normal after a brief rest. With folded hands at Sahana, he thanked her for the timely help in finishing the song.  Sahana was  emotional when her uncle, with tears in his eyes, expressed his gratitude with folded hands.

 

After the concert TKG in sobbing tone appealed to the audience to forgive him for the sudden break for reasons unknown to him. He was also thankful for their admiration to Sahana who completed the performance. Further   TKG was asking audience’s approval to decide Sahana, his brother’s daughter as his successor to continue the service to classical music. When they hailed his decision.  TKG immediately reassigned the shawl given to him to Sahana. Sahana felt the happenings as if they happened in a dream. She was confused as how far she was qualified for such a high recognition. Classical music was  like an ocean and what she had learnt so far was a drop in that ocean. She touched TKG’s feet and paid her respects to him. In turn he blessed her with all success in her future endeavors.  He would ask his brother’s consent to adopt Sahana as his successor. 

 

When the audience reacted positively to his proposal, suddenly one gentleman from the last row,  shouted that TKG could not adopt Sahana. There was silence in the auditorium and all eyes turned towards him. TKG felt somebody had an objection to his proposal. Both TKG and Sahana were anxiously looking at an aged man with beard and gray hair, walking towards podium. TKG recognized the man as his elder brother Sarma. When Sahana saw him she immediately questioned him as how he was in the concert. TKG was asking him as to when he came to that place. He also sought his consent to adopt his daughter Sahana as his successor for her good future.

 

Since he heard that his daughter was singing her first concert, he came to listen her singing. He repeated and asserted his objection to TKG’s adopting her. Though Sahana was with him for the last twenty years, he was not able to give consent for  adoption, simply for the reason she was not his own daughter. Though in the same twenty years she was not living with TKG, how could he adopt his own daughter?. TKG was puzzled at his statement. He was revisiting those incidents twenty years ago, when his wife died during delivery. The child also died few hours later. How could that child be alive now as Sahana? Sarma interrupted his thoughts and resolved the riddle.    

 

Sarma clarified the incidents:

 

Twenty years ago when TKG’s wife Sushila, and Sarma’s wife Ambujam, had labor pains at the same time, they were admitted in the same hospital for delivery. Unfortunately Sushila died during delivery. Ambujam’s baby also died few hours later. As Ambujam was yearning for a child, she would not take her baby’s death easily and become hysterical. So he managed to switch Sushila’s baby to Ambujam. After few years, Ambujam died in cancer. With a heavy heart and guilty conscience he was living with that guilt all along. From now on he would be relieved from that guilt with Sahana joining her father. TKG’s eyes were full of tears as the riddle had been resolved.  

 

Sahana was more excited with the two recognitions, one of successor to TKG in music and the other joining her father. But she valued the latter one as it was by the grace of God.

 

THE HOT SEAT

P.Krishnamoorthy

It was the evening of a Friday when the summer sun was setting on the western horizon, Sundaram, a retired Government high school teacher, having just finished his private tuition session with students, was ready to go for his evening devotional prayers. He, his loyal and affectionate wife Seetha and their only teen-aged daughter Sruthi lived in their prized ancestral home. He did not possess any valuable savings except the monthly government pension that he received. To supplement this income, he tutored high school students. A strict disciplinarian, he dedicated his life to the teaching profession. He believed that a teacher should be a role model for his students and he lived in that fashion. He’d been given the national award for the Best Teacher during his service. His tenacity to follow the traditional customs and values was remarkable, and his courage and conviction to prevail upon others the values of life was commendable. He never compromised on wrong sentiments, and he lived a simple and contended life. With limited financial resources, adversity always hung close by. 

 Seetha, the wife of Sundaram, was a home maker and a replica of the old mythological ‘Seetha’. She was an ardent believer in divine faith. She came into his life from an orthodox Hindu rural family, and she worshiped the ground he walked on. Having implicit faith in him, she always supported him.
       His adoring daughter, Sruthi, finished her high school studies with the highest marks, and a first rank in the state. Through various foundations and philanthropic resources, she herself initiated and handled all the processes to receive financial help for her studies. No stone was left unturned in her effort to mobilise funds for her intended college education. She even wanted to try her luck by participating in the ‘Crorepathi’ programme. Influenced by her parents, she developed an intense faith in the divinity. She believed that motivation held an important dimension in positive vibration.  Even with financial constraints, unity and harmony prevailed in the family.

           On that evening when Sundaram was tutoring students, he felt an acute pain in his chest that gradually became intense and unbearable. The students in attendance witnessed his discomfort and assisted Sruthi in getting him to a private hospital. As he lay unconscious, the doctors first stabilized his condition. And after a series of tests, it was diagnosed that there was a blockage of the main and other arteries  that had caused a severe heart attack. To restore blood flow, an angioplasty procedure was performed.Later sedatives were administered to induce proper rest. Observing his condition, his loving wife broke down outside the ICU room. In the circumstances, Sruthi tried her best to console her mother. Later the doctor confirmed his condition as stable but complicated and still critical. He would have to be kept under close observation for the next 24 hours and if his condition improved, it would be necessary to do multiple bypass surgeries. Such a procedure might cost Rs.20 to Rs.30 lakhs including medication and other charges, they were informed.

   Seetha’s face had become colorless on hearing the surgical fee. Having observed her mother’s reaction Sruthi became more worried about their financial predicament. How would they meet the cost of surgical treatment? Seetha had already sold her jewellary when Sundaram had the first heart attack some years before. Mother and daughter deliberated for a while and with great reluctance, they arrived at a consensus to sell their only property, the house. Sruthi then remembered that a real estate agent had made an offer to buy the property some months earlier. The ancestral home was situated in prime area and would more than cover the surgical fee. She contacted the agent, and they agreed to meet the next morning at the hospital.

            With medication Sundaram slept well that night. The doctor paid him a visit on his morning rounds and to his surprise, he was able to react and move his fingers slightly. But he could not reply to the doctor’s queries, an impediment hung in his speech. Both Seetha and Sruthi anxiously awaited advice on his condition. Having regained consciousness and moved his fingers, they hoped that the doctor would suggest the bypass would not be necessary, thus canceling the sale of the house. But the doctor reported Sundaram had improved only marginally overnight, and the critical phase had not yet been passed. If he showed any further improvement, he would then become fit to endure bypass surgery. Besides, his survival for a long period of time could not be assured. And, even after bypass surgeries, the chances were only fifty/fifty. While Seetha was pondering over the medical cost and the survival possibilities of Sundaram, Sruthi was firm in arranging the funds for the surgeries. After witing a status report in the chart, the doctor left it on the side of Sundaram’s bed.

            Enmeshed in sorrow, Sruthi awaited the real estate agent at the hospital. He arrived and serious negotiation ensued. The final offer was fixed at Rs.50 lakhs to be settled within one week. Sruthi was partially happy at the conclusion of the deal, but her mother gave her final acceptance only reluctantly for she possessed a sentimental attachment to their ancestral home. It so happened that while they were discussing terms of the sale, Sundaram overheard the entire deliberations from his room; the chairs on which the parties sat to conduct business were close by. Soon, it was time for lunch and Sruthi left her mother at the hospital to return home to bring lunch.

            It was one of those days when the sun stood like an orange ball blazing in the sky. As she rode her scooter, various vendors passed by shouting their merchandise. Memories of the ancestral home weighed heavily on Sruthi’s mind. It was the only home she knew. Built on a huge plot of land with a courtyard preceded the house. The flowers dominated the entrance pathway that led to the garden beyond. Bushes with exotic flowers sprung everywhere. She could not forget the days of merriment in the company of her friends in that house. Proud of his daughter, her father would also give her some money now and then.

            On reaching home, Sruthi was preparing lunch when the door bell rang. Not expecting a visitor, it was the postman who delivered an envelope from a local TV Channel informing her that she had been selected to participate in the ‘Crorepathi’ programme during the next week. Excited and exhilarated, this would solve the family’s fiscal problem if she manages to win the grand prize, she thought. They would be able to meet the surgical and other medical expenses and retain their ancestral home. She rushed back to the hospital to give her mother the good news. Her mother was waiting outside the hospital room. Amidst heavy breathing, Sruthi informed: “Mom we need not sell our home to meet the medical expenses. God has shown an alternative. I just received a letter from the TV Channel that I have been selected to participate in their daily ‘Crorepathi’ programme next week. I am confident to reach the final fifteenth question to win one crore rupees.” Sruthi was very confident and a positive vibration within her impelled her to such an outburst. There was a ray of hope in her mother’s face to retain the ancestral home, but she could not be sure until Sruthi participated and won the contest. There could always be a slip between the cup and the lip.           

            On the appointed day and time Sruthi was in the channel’s assigned studio for the programme. To her surprise, a celebrity, Pradeep, a popular movie star was the conductor of the show. After the introduction of ten contestants, Sruthi was  declared as the first candidate  to go to the ‘The Hot seat’. She was overwhelmed by this result as she credited this initial step to providence to win the required amount for her father’s medical treatment and retain the house. As she sat in the hot seat, the customary greetings of the audience instilled a positive ambiance within her. Pradeep, as the conductor, briefed her on the rules of the game: fifteen questions to be answered to win the maximum amount of one crore of rupees, right answers to  fifth, tenth and fifteenth questions  earn various definite amounts and the three life lines for reference. Sruthi became very emotional to Pradeep’s query about her future plans to handle the prize money if she won. Amidst sobbing and tears in her eyes she confessed that the amount would ‘save my dying father, and retain our ancestral home. It would also restore the old happiness in my mother’s face.’ On hearing this, the whole audience expressed their sympathy in sheer silence.

            Sruthi’sversatile skills in fields like general knowledge, current political and social affairs, geography, history, science, etc. were well exhibited by her instant responses to questions up to the 13th – Rs.25 lakhs after using all the three life lines. The 14^th question - “Who got a job at age four, and forty-nine years later, in 1989  he won the Nobel peace prize”. Choices were a) Dalai Lama b) Martin Luther King c) Albert John Lutuli d) Nelson Mandelsa. Sruthi’s response was the right answer: Dalai Lama. A huge applause erupted as Sruthi was the first candidate to reach the 14th and won Rs.50 lakhs. The last 15^th question for one crore was “In which country in Africa El Azizia weather was as hot as 124 degrees during the day. Choices: a) Benin  b) Angola c) Libya  d) Tunisia. Sruthi took time to think about the answer but could not decide on the correct one. Any wrong response would make her lose Rs.50 lakhs, a very vital amount to her. Fortunately the choice of quitting the game was available with that amount of money and she decided to take the option. Pradeep agreed but still wanted her to guess the answer. Sruthi’s choice was Benin but the correct answer was Libya. Pradeep declared Sruthi the winner of Rs.50 lakhs. He also signed the check for that amount. With the audience’s thunderous ovation, she collected the check. She strongly believed that only with providential support she had won this valuable gift. After all the formalities, she rushed to the hospital to inform her parents about the victory.

            It was late evening when Sruthi reached the hospital. Her mother was sitting in a chair outside, clasping her head in despair and brooding over developments. With tears in her eyes Sruthi said: “Mom! I won Rs.50 lakhs” and hugged her.  Her mother was jubilant. Her sentimental abode would now be saved. They entered Sundaram’s room to convey this vital and happy news but, being sedated, he was fast asleep. Sruthi then cancelled the sale of the house with the real-estate agent.

            The next morning they both came to the hospital and went into Sundaram’s room. Still he was asleep and the attending nurse told them not to disturb him. When the doctor came Sruthi informed him to schedule for her father's surgery as she had arranged for funds. The doctor then checked his pulse. He received a shock. Sundaram died in his sleep. He also found that the nasal and other intravenous connections were tangled up on his body. Sruthi and her mother were perplexed and dazed. They could not even cry. They were choked with grief. The joy they had attained the previous day was gone. Sruthi felt very disappointed mainly because her dear father was not around to share her great victory.

            The chart left by the doctor on the previous evening remained still on the side of the bed, some scribbles on it. It looked more like a suicide note. The doctor immediately inferred that it was written by Sundaram the previous midnight. He sought his end by messing up the vital connections. “Do not sell the house for my operation as you both need a shelter to stay. I am not going to live long even after the operation. Nobody is responsible for my end as voluntarily I have taken on my own this decision. Sundaram”

            With tears in her eyes, Sruthi whispered “Dad! You ended your life just to save the house  for us to live”.

                                                         

The Crime and the Culprit          

-  P. Krishnamoorthy

It was the closing time in  People’s  Bank on  Sunset Boulevard in the lower bay area of Los Angeles. Barbara was the last customer to receive cash of $500 from the cashier’s counter.  Other than her, there was none except a man in mid thirties anxiously awaiting somebody. It was unusually not  busy in that area at that time.  Barbara came out from the bank with the money in her handbag and walked to the parking lot where her white Chevy SUV was parked. This was closely but discreetly followed by the man who was in the bank earlier. As there was nobody around,  She hastened her walking to the car, so that she could be safe in the car to avoid any mishap. Due to winter season it was already getting dark. Her inner fear accelerated her premonition for any untoward serious incident.  As she reached the car, she felt safe  contrary to her earlier premonition. She was searching the car key in her handbag to open the car. Suddenly , from the rear, she felt a male strong hand  trying to snatch the handbag from her hold. She was rigidly resisting with all her strength. Even after waging a long struggle she could not hold the bag as she felt a heavy strong blow on the back of her head. She fell fainted crying “Oh! my handbag”. The handbag was snatched by the strong hand and disappeared from the scene. A passerby who noticed her lying on the ground unconscious near the car, called the police and ambulance to the spot. She was bleeding profusely in her head. The first aid rendered by para medical helped her to open her eyes  and  cried for her handbag. She realized that she had been mugged by somebody for her money in the handbag.

In the hospital, the doctors, diagonised the cause for bleeding as hemorrhage  in the brain due to damage to arteries.This could be due to some heavy material forcefully and repeatedly struck on the back of her head. After reviewing the scan and MRI reports, they confirmed  their findings of  such an  impact.  As the injury had made extensive impairment in the brain, she had to undergo a  major surgery to treat the internal hemorrhage. The surgery of Barbara went thru well as the blood clot in the back of the brain was removed. As she was responding well to the treatment, the doctors  declared her in stable condition; but would take some more time to recover to normalcy.  Tracy Willis, her husband who was more concerned, was taking care of her. Even after recovery from anesthesia in postoperative stage, she was murmuring about her lost handbag. Apparently she had an attachment over it. 

Barbara was recovering fast with the best medical care in the hospital. Willis was very happy at her convalescence He was exhilarated at her positive response to the treatment and looked forward to the day of her discharge. In spite of the major head injury and following surgical treatment, she was still concerned about her handbag . Time and again she was reminding Willis to check with LAPD on the status of its recovery since she was sure that the perpetrator would have taken the money and discarded the handbag. .

On the day of discharge, the doctor prescribed various medications for Barbara as a follow-up to the treatment. She thanked him and his staff profusely. Willis drove her home. The only regret she had,  was about the loss of handbag and no further information on it. The Los Angeles Police Dept. investigating the case, were looking for any such heavy object in the crime scene, as  that would lead them to find any finger marks on it, that would ultimately identify a DNA profile.  It would also  help to trace the culprit after matching  the DNA Profile. They also explored any of his blood samples shed during the struggle between the two.  They did not rule out the possibility of any finger print marks on the door or body  of the car.

The efforts of the Police did not go waste as they found  finger prints and scattered blood stains on a iron rod, that was lying near the car in the crime scene. Obviously the culprit had used that iron rod  to hit her from rear so that she would  release her grip on the bag. Also they found finger marks of Barbara and the perpetrator on the door of the car. The reports of the lab were clear as to the details of the DNA. They  had to find a  matching DNA profile  in DNA database to identify the culprit. In that process they found one Alex Andrew’s DNA profile was matching in all required standards and criteria. It also provided his personal details including his residential address.  The Police force began their dedicated efforts in tracing and tracking that data from DNA database. They made enquiries in and around the area of Alex’s  residence and found  that he was convicted and serving a jail term of five years in North County Correction facility in a heist case. As the heist case was prior to the occurrence of the present crime, it was a big puzzle for the Law Enforcement.  They  were breaking their heads as to how could one commit a crime again by being in  jail. They even doubly checked  his  DNA profile with that of taken in the crime scene and found their earlier findings accurate.

This  strange scenario led them to consider any sibling or a twin of Alex,  who may have the same DNA profile. The scope of DNA technology brings down the category of  twins into two  – Fraternal twins and identical twins. The DNAs of the  Fraternal twin are quite different from one another; whereas the identical twins would be  similar in every detail”. They contacted Alex in the Correction Facility and found that his twin brother Johnson  lived separately in the same county. He was working  as a helper to a local plumber. With these details, the police force again contacted the Lab to check Johnson’s  DNA profile in DNA database.  To their surprise there was Johnson’s DNA profile in the system, but contrary to the scientific theory, it was not identical as that of Alex,;  but similar only in some details though they were identical twins.

Based on these complicated versions, though Alex’s  sibling  Johnson might be the perpetrator, the judiciary may not accept this evidence as conclusive proof unless supported with material or any other eyewitness.  The only source to be tried would be the finger print of Johnson to tally with that taken from the iron rod. With this perception  they proceeded further in contacting him personally. There was a shocking news waiting for them as Johnson was in a hospital after a major surgery for a head injury due to a truck accident occurred on the same day of the crime.

The dates, area and the timing of the crime and truck accident were closely coincidental but still helpful to the police to suspect the perpretator as Johnson. To confirm their supposition,  they visited him in the hospital.  But they were disappointed as he was in coma stage in ICU and  learnt that his recovery would be indefinite. That baffled them as this was a major setback for LAPD in proceeding further in the case and they were back to square one.

In view of Johnson’s dormant medical condition, the LAPD personnel were discussing outside his room as to further action in the investigation.  Suddenly a  nurse came out of the room rushing to inform them that the doctor would like them to come inside as Johnson wanted to make some confession before them. They entered the room hurriedly. The doctor informed them that suddenly Johnson opened his eyes and wanted to say something to them. Johnson on seeing them, in a feeble voice, started to confess that he assaulted a lady on the head with an iron rod and grabbed her handbag with the money in the parking lot of Peoples Bank. When he crossed the Sunset Bouleward with the bag and money, a big truck knocked him down with great force. He fell down unconscious. The  handbag was thrown off to a distance from the spot.  As he was making the confession statement to them, his pulse and breathing stopped.

Though LAPD was complacent on finishing the hectic crime investigation with the identification of  the real culprit, they had not taken special efforts to trace the missing handbag with the money nor provide any further information to Barbara on the status of the bag. Barbara was dejected and depressed on its loss. Wilis was totally upset at Barbara’s miserable and gloomy appearance. He visited their office with Barbara to enquire the status of the lost handbag so that she would know  what they would like to say.. She even showed a photo of the handbag to confirm that it was a highly priced 'Blue Crocodile Hermes Birkin' handbag and reiterated her concern on its loss. She vehemently reacted her apprehension when the Police suggested reimbursement or replacement by the Insurance Company for the bag. She said that they could replace the bag but not with her personal sentiment over it.

After their visit to LAPD, Barbara and Willis, while returning from a restaurant, both opted to take the short way thru the bushes of fully grown Laurel plants, instead of going round on the road to the parking lot. En route Barbara’s cell phone slipped from her hand and fell  into the heap of dry leaves As she was taking the cell phone from the heap, she found to her surprise, her handbag’s straps visibly stretched out, leaving the main part  hidden beneath the pile of  dry leaves.  She cleared the dry leaves and took the handbag. Barbara could not believe her handbag was in tact without any damage. She was overjoyed and exhilarated over her finding. She hugged her ‘treasure and sentimental piece’ so dearly as her eyes started shedding tears profusely. Willis  joined in her delight and wanted her to check the money inside and found missing. Obviously the culprit, after taking the cash, threw the handbag into the bushes without knowing the highly priced value of the bag. The handbag was her ‘sentimental treasure’ with emotions attached to it. The highly priced ‘Blue Crocodile Hermes Handbag' was the  wedding gift to Barbara  by her elder sister  who died two years ago in cancer disease. Barbara was  always feeling that the deceased sister was still  with her at the sight of the handbag every time. 

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Coutesy: etsy.com

THE TWINLESS TWIN

P. Krishnamoorthy    

-   The air was filled with cold moisture from the intending rain. The overcast indicated a downpour. “It is going to rain. Come inside.”  Robert and  Catherine  called their twin children  John and Mike, who were playing in their backyard. “ In few minutes we would finish the game.” The twins replied and  looked up in the sky to confirm the celestial forecast.

John and Mike were identical twins of eight years old. Robert and Catherine were living in St. Louis in a small own house.  Robert was doing electrical contractor job and  Catherine worked as a school teacher. The twins also attended the same school where Catherine  was working.. The twins were identical in their personal appearance and often people mistook John as Mike and vice versa.  They were  cute, always together and received compliments as inseparables in the school. The identity crisis between them was experienced by everybody.  

After her delivery of the twins, Catherine was more concerned about their upbringing in later years. This was due to her extensive reading on twins’ life. In particular their attitude towards each other, adaptation to various phases in life, mutual interaction, etc. She was  apprehensive on the reflective reactions of the surviving  twin if  any serious sickness or death happened for the other. Psychologists report that the twinless twin would experience psychological difficulties in life that seem to be related to the loss of the other twin; in other words a total ‘incompleteness’ resulting in depression and  psychological agony. Also there had been instances where the twinless twin, however different in personal qualities, lived like his late counterpart. On occasions of every birthday of the twins, the death of a twin was very emotionally felt by the twinless twin to deal with the day. The twinless twin in living for two would end up in split personality.The twinless twin may also be driven even to outshine personally and professionally, to make up for the loss of a sibling's contribution or any unfinished job.

When John and Mike attained adolescent teens, they moved out to high school education. With the passing of time, they became different to each other. John was totally independent with  offensive attitude of superiority whereas Mike was an example for the ideal characteristics of excellent behavior, grace, courteous and kind.  John was an average student academically in comparison to Mike’s brilliant academic scores. This disparity disturbed their parents to a great extent especially when the twins  moved on to college education. The high scores of  Mike  got him admission into a Ivy League  college in the west coast.  Since John got into a local college, he was not interested in academic studies and was a dropout fron the institution.  The parents were startled at his decision and asked  him on his future plans. He replied that he already got a waiter’s job in one of the local restaurants. There he became an addicted alcoholic because of his friends’ influence. When he was in a bar, he got the friendship of Muller, a gang member of the Blue Bull gang. He was enticing him to join the gang as they make good money  by selling crack cocaine, heroin and marijuana. With this incentive John was dragged into the gang and gradually spending all his time in gang’s activities. Also he became a leader in the gang wars with rival groups. Catherine was shaken up on John’s indifferent behavior of indulging in illegal and criminal activities that was telling on her personal health.

Years passed by;  after a long break,  after graduation mike came home. He was kept in dark by his parents about john  as they thought it would affect his studies. it was a great shock to him when he heard about john’s weird full-time involvement  in blue bull gang and its activities as he was aware of the illegal dealings of that gang. he was also feeling sorry for  john’s drinking addiction he was trying to meet john to persuade him to come out of the gang. all his convincing efforts were unsuccessful. he made more enquiries about the gang and even visited them in their hangout in a hope to sever john’s  connections from the gang; but he failed miserably.  the inherent fear for mike and his parents was john should not end up in any violent situations that would lead to the wrong side of the law and its torture chambers as john was involved in drugs and  criminal activities.  they were convinced that  this situation was only due to the influence and pressure brought on john by the gang members.  but there was no change in john’s attitude in spite of extensive counselling by mike and his parents.. on the contrary john  was even agreeable to lead the gang in their next mission. the assignment was to trespass into their rival’s territory to sell the ‘stocks’. in short john became a fulltime gangster. the spectrum of blue bull gang would generally be over  territory, or a deal gone bad and consequent  revenge.

The Blue Bull gang members assembled separately with automatic rifles and pistols in nocturnal hours. at the stroke of midnight in Carr square area,Muller and Scott of the Blue Bull gang came out discreetly  from their hideout  and  trespassed into rival gang’s multi-storey building on the northen side. A there was no resistance initially, they thought they could steadily proceed further. suddenly they encountered continuous shooting from different directions of the building that made them to retreat. Malcolm and Smith, the other two members of Blue Bull fired at the building from the southern side. The rival group in the building  retaliated with shots from automatic rifles on all directions. Finally, John took over the situation and with his 308 rifle sprayed shots at the building  in the exchange of fire that lasted nearly ten minutes, one bullet from the rival leader in the building, directly hit John in the chest and he died instantly. With this the Blue Bull gang withdrew their mission and returned. The cops came to the scene and later visited John’s home in the late night to convey the tragic news. They rang the doorbell and   Catherine was the first one to get up,  followed by others. When she heard the tragic news, she fainted immediately. Mike got the details from  the cops and there was gloom all over. The next morning the funeral and the traditional burial service for John was arranged  in Crescent cemetery. Following this Catherine was bed ridden with multiple health issues.  At the sight of the twins’ childhood picture in the living room Robert was in sobs and tears and could not get over from the grief.

Catherine was recollecting  her past memories. She remembered the earlier days when she delivered the twins and her anxiety and concern on their upbringing as she had gone thru a number of reports about them; especially on the twinless twin when one  dies. She was thinking about Mike who was now in a similar situation. She was disturbed and nervous at the very thought of him. The twinless twin  may in some instances feel  to live for two – a split personality and even driven, to outshine the deceased personally and professionally to fulfill any unfinished job left by the other. With the efflux of events happened, Catherine was more concerned on one finding in the report that  the  twinless twin when completes all his sibling's assignments would die as the other twin. This was haunting Catherine very seriously.

   

Meantime Mike was interested to find out about the shooter who shot John from the building on that night. The police investigation revealed Stephen, the rival’s gang leader was the shooter. Mike decided to wreak vengence on him for John's death, implying to complete the unfinished job. Catherine observed Mike's vast difference in his attitude over his earlier one. He initiated efforts in collecting Stephen's whereabouts and daily movements. He got the information that his father's death anniversary falls on the next day and he would be personally visiting his father's grave on that day in Crescent cemetry. Mike anticipated his coming with his escorts. 

Mike came to the cemetry with his automatic revolver much ahead of time of the arrival of Stephen. He carefully selected a discreet location in the compound and waited for him. As expected Stephen arrived with his guards and wanted them to stay in the car. With a wreath and a bouquet of flowers, Stephen walked alone to the grave and placed them on his father's grave. He kneeled down and prayed for his soul to rest in peace. Suddenly he felt a bullet hit him  on his head that came from a distance and he fell on the grave and died. Mike shot him from the hideout and moved quickly from that location. On hearing the shooting noise, the guards came running from the car  and found Stephen lying dead. 

Mike was happy on his mission got accomplished. He felt satisfied as he completed John's  unfinished job successfully. He looked around whether there was anybody noticed his shooting  and carefully moved from his hideout. One of the guards spotted him shot him with his Malcolm 6X telecopic rifle and Mike died instantly. His happiness over his accomplishment was only short-lived. 

With two successive tragedies in the family, both Catherine and Robert were shaken up severely and could not get over from that grief. Catherine was just reviewing the past events and remembered the psychologist's finding that twinless twin would like to live to finish the unfinished job of the other and when completed to die as the other twin.  

                         

வன்மத்திலும்
மென்மை  

பி கிருஷ்ணமூர்த்தி

தினசரி சுற்றுகளில் வந்த டாக்டர் அமிர்தவல்லி, என்னை பரிசோதித்து விட்டு அன்று மதியமே நான்  வீட்டிற்கு செல்லலாம் என்று கூறினாள். அரசாங்க மருத்துவ மனையில் பிரசவ நோயாளியாக ஒரு வாரத்திற்கு முன் வந்த நான், சில நாட்களில், பத்து மாத சுமையை இறக்கி, தாயும் சேயுமாக தனி தனியாக மூச்சு விடும் நிலையில் இன்று பரந்த வெளி உலகில் சஞ்சாரம் செய்யப் போவது     எனக்கு ஒரு  கேள்விக் குறியாக  இருந்தது.  முக்கியமாக, கூட இருக்கும் மிகவும் இளம்     பிஞ்சு பாவ மூட்டையுடன் நான் எப்படி வாழப்போகிறேன். என்ற எண்ணம் என்னை மிகவும் வாட்டியது.   காதல் வெறியுடன் பெற்ற உறவுகளை உதறிவிட்டு விக்ரமின் வார்த்தைகளை வாக்குறிதாகளாக நம்பி, மணமாகாமலே அவனுடன் வாழ்ந்த சில மாதங்களில், நிலை தடுமாறி ஒரு இரவு நான் செய்த தவற்றினால் தாய்மை அடைந்தேன். இதை அறிந்த விக்ரம் என்னிடம் வித்தியாசமாகவும் அலட்சியமாகவும் பழக ஆரநம்பித்தான். வெளிநாட்டில் வேலைக்கு போவதாக சொல்லி என்னை விட்டு போய்விட்டான். பாவ சின்னமாக என்னுள் வளர்ந்த சிசுவை, பாச சுமையாக நினைத்த எனக்கு, சமுதாயத்தில் என் எதிர்காலத்தில் அதனுடன் எப்படி வாழப்போகிறேன் என்ற நினைவில் குழம்பிப் போயிருந்தேன். அப்பொழுதுதான் சிறிது தூரத்திலிருந்த ரயில் நிலையம் என் கண்களில் பட்டது. என் உள் மனதில் என்னுடைய பாவ சுமைக்கு ஏதோ  ஒரு தீர்வு கிடைத்தது போன்ற உணர்வில் ரயில் நிலையம் நோக்கி நடந்தேன். அங்கு காலி ரயில் பெட்டிகளின் வரிசை எனக்கு சாதகமாக நிறுத்தப்பட்டிருந்தன. ஆட்கள் நடமாட்டமும் அங்கில்லாததால்  ஒரு படுக்கும் வசதி கொண்ட பெட்டியின் உள்ளே, நன்றாக தூங்கி கொண்டிருந்த என் பாச சுமையை  படுக்க வைத்தேன். யாரும் பார்க்குமுன்னே, கீழே இறங்கி மறைவாக நின்று சிறிது நேரம் அந்த ரயில் பெட்டியையே பார்த்து கொண்டிருந்தேன். கையிலிருந்த சுமையை இறக்கிவிட்டாலும், மனதில் இருந்து அந்த சுமையை மறக்க முடியவில்லையே!  கண்களில் கண்ணீர் தேங்க, யாரிடம் எப்படி என் குழந்தை சேர்ப்போகிறதோ என்ற ஆவலும் ஆதங்கமும்  மனதை வாட்ட அந்த ரயில் பெட்டியையே பார்த்துக்  கொண்டிருந்தேன். சில நிமிடங்களில் குழந்தையின் அழுகை சத்தம் கேட்க ஆரம்பித்தது. என் உடம்பெல்லாம் வியர்த்து என்ன செய்வது என்று தெரியாமல் இருந்தபோது, நடுத்தர வயதில் ஒருவர் அந்த பெட்டியின் பக்கம் வர, குழ்ந்தையின் அழுகுரல் கேட்டு  உள்ளே எட்டி பார்த்தார். அங்கு யாரும் இல்லததால்,  எங்காவது பக்கத்தில்  சென்று இருப்பார்களோ என்று எண்ணி சில நிமிடங்கள் நின்று பார்த்து விட்டு, முடிவில் குழந்தையை தானே எடுத்துக் கொண்டு அங்கிருந்து சென்றார்.  

பத்துமாதம் சுமந்து அது வெளி உலகத்திற்கு வந்தவுடன், அதனுடன் என் பந்தம் முடிந்தது என்ற முடிவில், ஆண்டவன் அருளால் யாரிடமோ நன்றாக வளரும் என்ற நம்பிக்கையில் மனதை தேற்றிக் கொண்டு, எதிர்கால சுதந்திர சுயநல வாழ்விற்கு வழி என்ன என்று  யோசித்து கொண்டிருந்தேன். எதிரே ஒரு அரசியல் கட்சியின்  மகளிர் ஊர்வலம் என் கண்களில் பட, அவர்களுடன் கூட்டத்தோடு கூட்டமாக சேர்ந்து கொண்டேன். என் குரல் வளம் நன்றாக இருந்ததால், நான் எழுப்பிய கோஷங்கள் அந்த ஊர்வலத்தின் தலைவியையும் மற்றவர்களின் கவனத்தையும் மிகவும் கவர்ந்தது.  ஊர்வல முடிவில் கட்சி அலுவலகத்தில் கட்சியின் தலைவி,  தனியாக என்னை அழைத்து என்னை பற்றிய விவரங்களை கேட்டு என்னை அலுவலகத்திலேயே தங்க அனுமதித்தாள்.  சேர்ந்த சில மாதங்களிலேயே என் பேச்சு திறனுக்காக கட்சியின் பிரச்சார மேடைகளில் என்னை முக்கிய பேச்சாளனாக்கி, கட்சியில்  என்னை ஆய்வாளாராக உயர்த்தினார்கள். என் பேச்சுக்காகவே என் கட்சியின் பிரச்சார கூட்டங்களுக்கு மக்களிடம் பெரும் வரவேற்பு கிடைத்தது.  மேலும் ஒரு தொகுதியில் இடைக்கால தேர்தலில் கட்சியின் வேட்பாரளாக என்னை நிறுத்தியதில், என்னுடைய சுயநல வாழ்வின் இலட்சியத்தை நெருங்கிவிட்டதாக பெருமிதம் அடைந்தேன். ஆனால் விக்ரமினால்  ஏற்பட்ட ஏமாற்றமும் களங்கமும் நிழலாக என்னை தொடர்ந்தது. சில இரவுகளில் என்  குழந்தையின் நினைவும் என் கண்களை ஈரமாக்கி மனதில் குற்ற உணர்ச்சியை தூண்டியது.

வேட்பாளராக நான் பக்கத்து ஊருக்கு சென்று, வீடு வீடாக என் கட்சிக்கு ஒட்டு கேட்டபோது, ஒரு பெரிய வீட்டில் என்னை அதிர வைத்த சம்பவம் என் தலையில் சம்மட்டியால் அடிப்பது போலிருந்தது.   அங்கு நான் சந்தித்த ஒரு வசதியான குடும்பத்தை சேர்ந்த பெண்மணி, தன் குழந்தையுடன் தனியாக இருப்பதையும், சுவற்றில் தொங்கிய படத்தில் இருந்தவரை அவள் கணவர். ஷியாம் என்றும், ஒரு சாலை விபத்தில் அவர் இறந்து விட்டதையும் சொல்லி முடித்தாள். என் அதிர்ச்சிக்கு காரணம் அந்த படத்தில் இருந்தது என்னை ஏமாற்றி ஒரு குழந்தையையும்  கொடுத்த அதே விக்ரம், தன் பெயரை மாற்றி கொண்டு அந்த பெண்ணை திருமணம் செய்து கொண்டிருக்கிறான்.  என் உணர்வுகளை வெளிக் காட்டாமல் அங்கிருந்து நகர்ந்தேன். இந்த சம்பவத்தின் தாக்கத்திலிருந்து அவ்வளவு எளிதாக என்னால் மீள முடியாமல் தவித்தேன்.

பருவ உணர்ச்சிகளால் ஈர்க்கபட்டு, பெற்று வளர்த்த பெற்றோரையும் உதறி விட்டு, ஏமாற்றும் ஒரு ஆணிடம் அறியாமையில் அடிமையாகி, அந்த சங்கமத்தின் சின்னமான ஒரு உயிரை,  சமூக நெருக்கடிகளுக்கு பயந்தும், சொந்த எதிர்கால   சுயநல வாழ்க்கை தேவைகளுக்காகவும்  உலகத்திற்கு தாரை வார்க்கும் நிலைக்கு தள்ளப்பட்டேன். விக்ரம் ஊரிலிருந்து வந்து என்னை முறைப்படி என்றாவது திருமணம் செய்து கொள்வான் என ஆவலுடன் கர்பிணியாய் காத்திருந்த எனக்கு,  பெயர் மாற்றம் செய்து வசதியான ஒரு குடும்பத்து பெண்ணை திருமணம் செய்து கொண்டு வாழ்ந்து இருக்கிறான் என்பதை நினைக்கும் பொழுது என் நெஞ்சே வெடித்திடும் போல் இருந்தது. அவன் சுயரூபம்  எனக்கு முன்பே தெரிந்திருந்தால் என் சுமையை உலகிற்கு வராமல்  உடனேயே கலைத்திருப்பேன். இதை எண்ணி எண்ணி ஆண் ஆதிக்கதின் மேல் என் மனதில் ஒரு வன்மம் வளர்ந்து, பெண்களின் உரிமைகளுக்கு போராட ஆரம்பித்தேன். என் அரசியல் பிரவேசம் இதற்கு கைகொடுக்க, என் மனதில் வன்மம் ஒரு விஸ்வரூபம் எடுத்தது. என் மேடை பேச்சுக்களிலும்  அது மறைமுகமாக வெளிப்பட்டது.. பல சந்தர்பங்களில் கட்சியின் ஆண்வர்கம் இதை எதிர்த்தாலும், மகளிர் அணித் தலைவி என்ற முறையிலும்   தாய்குலத்தின் ஆதரவும்   எனக்கு பக்கபலமாக இருந்தன. கட்சி உருப்பினர் ஒருவரின் குடும்பத்தில் அவர் மகளின் வாழ்க்கை ஆண் ஆதிக்கத்தினால் கேள்வி குறியானதில் என்னிடம் முறையிட்டார். என் செல்வாக்கை பயன்படுத்தி காவல் துறையின் உதவியுடன் அவள் திரும்பவும் கணவனுடன் வாழ வழி செய்தேன்.  என்னுள் வளர்ந்த அந்த வன்மம், ஆண் ஆத்க்கத்தின்  சிறு தவறுளை கூட மன்னிக்க மறுத்துவிட்டது. வாழ்க்கையில் எவ்வளவு முன்னேறி உயர்ந்தாலும்,  விக்ரம் செய்த  நம்பிக்கை துரோகத்தால் விலை மதிக்க முடியாத என் பெற்றோரின் பந்தத்தை நான் நிரந்தரமாக  இழந்து இருக்கிறேன்.   

அரசியலில் என் கட்சி என்னை ஒரு கல்வி மந்திரி ஆக்கி பொறுப்புகளை  அதிகமாக்கியது. அந்த முறையில் ஒரு நாள் என்னை பாரதியார் கலைக் கல்லூரியின் ஆண்டு விழாவிற்கு தலைமை தாங்க  அழைத்தார்கள். நானும் அதை ஏற்றுகொண்டு வருவதாக கூறினேன். ஆண்டு விழாவில் இறை வணக்கம் முடிந்து பேச்சாளர்களுக்கு பிறகு  நானும் பேசிவிட்டு, தொடரப் போகும், கலை நிகழ்ச்சிகளை பார்க்க  என் இருக்கையில் அமர்ந்தேன். நடன நிகழ்ச்சிகளுக்கு பின் பாட்டுப் போட்டி நடந்தது. முதலில் ஒரு பார்வையற்ற மாணவன் பாட வந்தான். அவனை கூட்டி வந்த ஆசிரியர், அவன் பெயர் ராஜு என்று அறிமுகம் செய்தார்.  பின்னர், அவன் பாடிய ‘நல்லதோர் வீணை செய்து’ என்ற பாரதியார் பாட்டு,  எல்லோரையும்  மெய்மறக்க செய்து, கண்களில் கண்ணீரை வரவழைத்தது. அவ்வளவு அழகாக பாடினான்.. முடிவில் முதல் பரிசு அவனுக்கு என்ற அறிவிப்பில் கைதட்டி  மகிழாதவர்களே இல்லை. பார்வையற்றவன் என்பதையும்  மீறி, எனக்கு வார்த்தைகளால் விளக்க முடியா ஒரு பந்ததை என்னுள் உணர்ந்தேன். அந்த உணர்வு அவனுக்கு கண் பார்வை பெற எதாவது உதவி செய்ய வேண்டும் என்று  தூண்டியது.  அவனுக்கு பரிசு அளிக்க மேடைக்கு சென்றேன்.  அவனுடன் அந்த ஆசிரியரும் இருந்தார்.. அவரிடம் அவனைப் பற்றிய விவரங்களை கேட்டபொழுது என் தலையே சுற்றியது. அவன் ஒரு அநாதை என்றும், இருபது வருடத்திற்கு முன், பிறந்த குழந்தையாக காலி ரயில் பெட்டி ஒன்றில், யாரோ விட்டு செல்ல, அந்த வழியாக வந்த நான், அதை எடுத்து வளர்த்தேன். ஆனால் அக்குழந்தைக்கு கண் பார்வை பிறவியிலேயே போய்விட்டது. டாக்டர்கள் பார்த்து, கர்பகாலத்தில் தாயானவள் சரியாக குழந்தையை கவனிக்காததாலும் அல்லது பெற்றோரின் குடும்ப “ஜீன்ஸ்” காரணமாகவும்  இது நடந்திருக்காலம், என்று கூறிவிட்டனர்.  இதை கேட்டவுடன் என் மனதில் பெரிய எரிமலை வெடிப்பது போன்ற உணர்வு. என் உணர்வுகளை கட்டுப்படுத்தி மனதிற்குள்ளேயே அழுதேன். 

சில விநாடிகளில், கண் பார்வை இல்லாவிட்டாலும், எங்கோ அவன் ஒரு அநாதை இல்லத்தில் வளர்ந்து வந்ததை நினைத்து என்னேயே தேற்றிகொண்டு அவன் பராமரிபிற்காகவும், அவன் கண் பார்வை பெறுவதற்கு மருத்துவ செலவிற்கும்,,  பையிலிருந்த காசஒலையை எடுத்து, அவன் பெயருக்கு ரூபாய் 50 லட்சம் என்று எழுதி அந்த ஆசிரியரிடம் கொடுத்தேன். ரயில் பெட்டியிலிருந்த  அநாதியான குழந்தையை எடுத்து வளர்த்தற்கும் என் மனமார்ந்த நன்றியை சொன்னேன். அப்பொழுது எனக்கு கிடைத்த மன நிறைவுபோல் என்றும் என் வாழ்நாளில் எனக்கு கிடைத்தில்லை.. என் சுயநல வாழ்விற்காக நான் சுமந்த பாசுமையை ரயில் பெட்டியில் விட்டு வந்த பாவியை ராஜு என்றாவது மன்னிப்பானா என்று என் மனம் ஏங்கியது. என் வளர்ச்சியில் அபரிதமான பரிமாணங்களை அளித்த அந்த ஆண்டவனுக்கு என் மகனை பல வருடங்களுக்கு பிறகு அடையாளம் காட்டியதற்கும் என் கண்களில் கண்ணீருடன் நன்றி சொன்னேன். 

சிறிது நேரம் கழித்து பிறகு என்னை தனியாக கூட்டி சென்று, அவர் கூறிய வார்த்தைகள் என் நெஞ்சில் சரமாரியாக பல கூறான கத்திகள்  குத்துவது போல இருந்தன.. “இந்த உதவி அவனுக்கு தேவைப்படாது. ஒரு வாரமாக அவன் காய்ச்சலில் அவதிபட்டு மோசமாகி,  பிறகு டாக்டர்கள் பரிசோதனையில், அவனுக்கு புற்றுநோய் இருப்பதாகவும் இன்னும் மூன்று மாதமே அவன் உயிர் வாழ்வான் என்றும் கூறினர்., இந்த உதவியை பள்ளியின் புது கட்டிடத்திற்கு அவன் பெயரில் நன்கொடையாக கொடுங்கள் ” என்று  கேட்டுக் கொண்டார்..

என் சுயநல வாழ்விற்காக சுமந்த பந்ததை உதறிவிட்டு வந்தவளுக்கு, ஆண்டவன் கொடுத்த தண்டனை - மரணத்திற்கு காத்திருக்கும் பார்வையற்ற என் மகனை அடையாளம் காட்டி, அவனுக்கு பரிசு கொடுக்க வைத்ததுதான்.  இந்த பந்ததின் கதாநாயகன் விக்ரத்திற்கும் ஆண்டவன் சாலை விபத்தின்  மரணம் மூலம் தண்டித்து விட்டான். என் சுயநல வாழ்வில் நான் அடைந்த பெரிய வெற்றி  எல்லாம் என் குடும்ப வாழ்க்கையில் நான் கண்ட தோல்வியை ஈடு கட்ட முடியாது. இதனால் என் வன்மம் நிறைந்த மனதும் மென்மை ஆகிவிட்டதை உணர்கிறேன்.  .